Standing on the Edge of Time

December 17, 2015December 16, 20151 Comment

Anyone who knows me well knows that I like to visit natural, beautiful and amazing places on the earth. I live for it and I never feel as relaxed and comfortable as when I am hiking or spending time immersed in natural beauty. I spend as much of my time as possible researching and traveling to reach those special places. Our time on this earth is limited and precious. The earth has been around for approximately 4.5 billion years and there is no better place to appreciate the passage of time as when you stand on the edge of the Grand Canyon or witness the beauty of the Canadian Rockies, the vast oceans, or the Utah canyons. The beauty is almost overwhelming and you get a sense that you are standing on the edge of time.

We have visited some very beautiful places over the years with our family. I remember my kids running in the Canadian Rockies on a stop by a stream. They were young at the time, but with the mountains in the back and the sun shining so bright, they literally leapt out of the car and ran with their arms in the air as if trying to appreciate the vastness of the beauty. It seemed almost instinctive for them to relish the great outdoors. Of course it could have been that we were on a driving vacation for three weeks and they were always happy to get out of the Yukon for a while. I know they did like it. They always seem to have fond memories when they talk about those vacations now. We did have a lot of fun on those driving trips. They had no fear and seemed to enjoy rolling in the long grass and wadding into the cool water. We went to a lot of inspiring places, including Yellowstone and the Olympic National forest, Nova Scotia and the Colorado Rockies.

For me, I could stand on the edge of the Grand Canyon or the cliffs and canyon crevasses in among the red rocks of Utah and think about how they were formed and how long the earth has been around. I like to contemplate all of the many peoples that stood in that same spot looking at those same formations for thousands of years and how these natural wonders were formed by billions of years of water and wind. I like the historical aspect, but more importantly I like the way it made me feel; insignificant and powerful all at the same time. You are witnessing life itself in all its past and present glory and soaking in the beauty created by the passage of time. All of my work-a-day cares fade away when I stand on the ledge of that cliff or hike that narrow path along the edge of a vast valley lush with trees and wildlife. It is a connection back with the preciousness of time and a connection with our roots and the earth and time itself. We were not meant to be indoors for days on end without spending our time with nature.

Time is the most important thing we have. We cannot have anything else without it. We need time for love, time for family and time for travel and fun. Without time we have nothing. Time feels like a concept, but time is a concrete thing over which we have absolutely no control. We can feel time pass and we know when we run out of time and when our time is being wasted, or well spent. Being immersed in great natural beauty is time well spent. Stand on the edge of time and wonder at the possibilities.

Cake and Crazy Hats

December 10, 2015December 11, 2015Leave a comment

Cake and crazy hats are essential for the perfect birthday parties when you are raising kids. We had some real fun and crazy ones when the kids were growing up. I remember being exhausted after the birthday parties, but they were important and so it was worth it. Making a big deal about birthdays was not only fun, but it gives kids a sense of belonging in the family and lets them know they are important and appreciated. My parents taught me that it is not about any big expensive gifts, and the parents do not have to go broke throwing the party. It is about the love, about showing them that you are glad they are a part of your life and making the kids feel special. Many times when I was growing up we had party hats made out of newspaper. My Mom baked a cake from scratch and our birthdays were special.

I remember making my own kids cakes from scratch when they were really little and we always had the birthday crown that was pulled out for the birthday child. We still have that crown. It looks a little worn, but it represents years of special days from the past now that my kids are all in their twenties. Once the kids were a little older and wanted things like a Ninja Turtle cake, I left the baking and decorating to Target. That took some of the burden off of me. I had to order the cakes ahead, and of course there was the deciding by the birthday child where they would have their party. Sometimes we had them at home and other times we went somewhere else. The ones held elsewhere still took a lot of planning on our part. We went to the YMCA a number of times and had swimming parties in their water park. Those were nice, because the lifeguards watched the kids and the staff served the cake and we could bring in food. We also had a number of bowling parties and the Circus Pizza birthday parties with the creepy singing animals. I could never figure out why the kids liked those big stuffed mechanical bears and animals playing music. Those animals looked like a nightmare waiting to happen to me but the kids liked them and so we had multiple parties there.

One of my favorite birthday memories was when the purple Dinosaur Barney was popular. Sara really was a fan, so I paid someone to show up and be Barney in the costume. He showed up at the door, in all of his large purple glory and had a special small stuffed replica of himself for the birthday girl. My sweet Sara was really young, maybe four or so at the time, so she was quite hesitant, especially when he came in to play games with the party goers. He had them in a circle in no time and was playing ring around the rosy.

I felt so proud to have thought of this and was feeling really great as I looked around the room and the kids all had big smiles on their faces, until I saw Sara. She looked overwhelmed and I could see that she was about to burst into tears. Good old Barney was trying to treat her special because she was the birthday girl and be beside her and hold her Screen Shot 2015-12-09 at 12.18.57 PM hand in the circle game. Well I guess it is one thing to watch the big purple dinosaur on TV and another to have him standing beside you trying to hold your hand in the game. Sara was by now not just hesitant, but crying because she had had enough of the dinosaur. I went to her rescue and held her hand and reassured her. She did stop crying and played games, but she did not want to get near B Screen Shot 2015-12-09 at 12.19.09 PM arney. We did get some pictures of her with Barney, but I had to hold her and she would not look at the camera or Barney. The picture is priceless.

It is so funny how we as parents think something will be the perfect thing for our kids and even though we know them well, we get it wrong. Oh well as I say, a lot of parenting is going with the flow. She loved that stuffed Barney and she actually talked about it later, like she really liked having Barney at her party, but you could not tell at the time.

We made a big deal for our own Birthdays as well. Joe would make a big deal about mine and take the kids shopping or they would make things at home and I would do the same for him. We made cake or sometimes picked up a Treatza Pizza from Dairy Queen. We would wear the birthday crown, when we could find it – another problem sometimes in a busy household.

BDParty4 We had so many birthday parties over the years, at so many different places, that the memories sometimes all run together now. What I do know is that we worked really hard as parents to make sure that our kids felt their birthday was important. We also worked really hard to make sure they appreciated all the gifts they received and to show gratitude for the good friends and loving family that they had. They were never allowed to be rude or mean to other kids and they were never allowed to not be thankful for whatever gift was given. We tried to make sure that they knew that it was not about the gift, but the thought that counts, as they say.

Now that the kids are older we try to continue to make their birthdays special. If they are going to be home, we go out to dinner at a restaurant of their choice, or if not, I try to send them something. When I look back at the birthday party pictures and see their smiling faces, I am so thankful that we took the time, even though everyone was really busy with work and managing
a household full of kids, appointments, grocery shopping, sports and school activities to try our best to make their birthdays special.

Making a big deal about a child’s birthday shows kids how much they are loved and appreciated. It proves to them, through actions, that they are part of a family that loves them and thinks they are important. It teaches them to appreciate friends and family and to appreciate the thoughtfulness of every gift. It teaches them to make other’s birthdays special too, to keep the love flowing to friends and family. Kids need a sense of belonging and need to know that they are important. It is important to make the cake, bring out the crazy hats and make the day special. BDParty7

Kids and the Family Farm

December 3, 2015December 3, 2015Leave a comment

Even though my career took me off of the farm and into the city, I tried to keep my farm roots and connect my own city-raised kids with farm life. Growing up on a farm is a wonderful life for kids. We had kittens and chickens, pigs, cows, dogs, horses and lots of green grass in which to run, and creeks to play in. All of the barns, corn cribs, chickens coops, farm fields and line fences filled with choke cherries, and rock piles – these were our playground. In the summer our bare feet were black on the bottom with ground in dirt that could not be removed even by a long hot bath. We usually looked dirty and we were happy and free.

When we had kids I knew I wanted to give them a taste of that open range and of being able to get dirty and do exploring, so I knew a town size lot would not do. We bought three acres in the northern suburbs of Minneapolis, adjacent to a large preserve. We had heavy woods and a large pond to explore. My kids got dirty, they collected frogs and they loved to climb trees and play in the woods.

We took our kids to the Minnesota zoo for animal time and one of my favorite parts is the farm area with goats to pet and baby animals to hold. But we also took every opportunity to visit my friends and relatives’ farms whenever we could manage it. We took them when they were quite young to a dairy farm during calving season and they actually saw a calf being born. My kids got to bottle feed the calves and they watched the elaborate milking operation. It was a fun visit for them, but I enjoyed getting back to the farm more than I had expected. I forgot how calm things are and how relaxed I felt around the animals.

I sat and petted the barn cat while watching my kids bottle feed a little calf. They were hesitant at first, but quickly became very comfortable and seemed to be enjoying the fact that they were helping in the chores that needed to be done. It was not staged for them, this was work that had to be done to feed the animals on the farm and they really had a sense of purpose and accomplishment in getting the job done. It helped that my cousin was very patient with them, and as he handed them a bottle he said we have to feed the calves twice a day so they grow big and strong.

As they would finish he would assign them another job to feed the cats or use the fork to spread hay for the cattle. They fed chickens and they rode the four wheeler to deliver more hay to the pasture. The kids did not want to leave and neither did I. As I petted the animals and watched the cattle being milked and saw the milk being collected in a bulk tank for transport, I felt a sense of loss for no longer being on the farm. There is such a basic sense of purpose when you have animals dependent upon you for life and you are producing the most basic of healthy food. There’s a lot of work to do, but it seems relaxed and everything is moving at a slower pace. The cows are fed, but they also get a little pet on the head as we pass each one. The cats are picked up and cuddled. It is that extra love that goes into the farmers work.

We visited often to give the kids the appreciation for a simpler time and real things that matter. They were so present in the moment as they helped and enjoyed everything that the farm had to offer. They learned to treat animals well and to share and enjoy the days outside. I miss the farm and especially the animals. The farm is a way of life and a connection that we lose in the city if we are not vigilant. Make the time to be outdoors, to visit the zoo and to visit the farms. Almost everyone knows someone on a farm and
most farm families love to share their way of life. They now even have farms you can visit for a day or stay overnight. It is actually becoming a tourist thing.

Do what you can to keep your connections to the farm, the animals and the crops. Have a garden in your backyard or a pot. Let the kids dig in the dirt. Pick berries and go to the apple orchard. Make butter from cream just for fun. It is sad when kids don’t even know where our food comes from or how to grow simple food. When we do these things for our kids we are many times very surprised by how much fun it is for us and how relaxing a day outside on the farm can be. We don’t think of a farm as entertainment, but it is the most entertaining and relaxing day you can spend with your family.

Be Happy In All That You Have

November 26, 2015November 25, 2015Leave a comment

Thanksgiving has been a large family get together with grandparents and relatives for as long as I can remember. We ate real pumpkin pie, homemade dressing that melted in your mouth, and the turkeys that were roasted barely fit in the oven. When I was young we gathered at my grandparent’s farm, and eventually my parent’s farm, and eventually, as we grew into family life ourselves, my brothers and sisters and I took turns having the Thanksgiving dinners at our house.

I have memories of the Macy’s day parade on the TV in the background, and the adults having cocktails and wine hanging around the kitchen. We kids were playing games or with toys, and many times we played together outside. As we had our own kids the dynamics changed from us playing with cousins, to my siblings and I doing the cooking and drinking wine before we sat down to eat. Not everyone could make it every year, as there were sometimes obligations with in-laws, but we celebrated with whoever was available. The food was always amazing, and catching up with everyone and being together was really nice. It got everyone in the holiday mood and started the holiday fun.

Christmas is different. It has the religious aspects, and the Santa and gift giving fun, but Thanksgiving is special. There is no need to shop for presents and the holiday stress. It is a simple dinner with relatives and friends, but more importantly a day set aside to count our blessings and be thankful for what we have. It is not a time to think about our future, our goals or especially to worry about what we don’t have. We just need to take stock of what we do have and be thankful for all of those things. Remember those who face fierce battles with cancer, the loss of loved ones, loneliness and poverty. Help where you can.

To just celebrate Thanksgiving and have the dinner and the wine without the reflection is to short change yourself. I don’t mean everyone needs to be that family that has to go around the table and share out loud what they are thankful for. That is fine, but I suspect everyone feels so put on the spot or awkward that it is a meaningless exercise anyway. Many others look more on Thanksgiving to count their blessings in a more religious way. I believe that it does not matter if you are religious or not, or whether you like the historical aspect of Thanksgiving or look at Thanksgiving as a harvest celebration, that it would be a real missed opportunity not to take advantage of the meaning of this holiday and take stock in all you have.

I am a list maker and I am always setting goals and I have plans for the year, and a five year and ten year plan. All of those things are a little embarrassing to put in writing, but I have found that if I want to accomplish something I have to have a plan. But as we focus on plans, we are always looking forward. That is a good thing, but it should be balanced with reflecting on what we have and being thankful and happy in all that we have. I start by being Thankful for the best kids a mom could ask for. They are all fun, happy and hard working. They have goals and I have to say that the three of them are the most fun crowd to be with on any holiday. I am Thankful for another fun year (due to good planning) and the ability to travel and the good jobs we have and have retained. We have a nice house on a lake and Joe and I have a lot of fun together. It does not matter if we are traveling together or taking wallpaper off or doing home projects; we have a good time together and that is important after almost thirty years of marriage.

I have learned after 57 years of life that no matter what you have, there are people who will always have more than you and there are many more who have less than you. Comparing yourself to others is a waste of time and steals your own happiness. There is always a negative or a positive way to look at everything, whether it is your past, your present or your future. If you choose to look at the negative, you rob yourself of your happiness.

On Thanksgiving take time to focus and reflect on the positive and to take note of all of the things you are or should be Thankful for. It does not matter how old you are or what you have, you have enough and you are enough. Love your family, love yourself, love your life and be positive in all that you do. Thanksgiving is a time to reflect. Take the opportunity and bask in the glow of all that you do have!! Happy Thanksgiving!

Saturday Mornings, Coffee, and Kids Sports

November 19, 2015Leave a comment

Coffee never tastes as good as on an early, crisp fall Saturday morning when taking the kids to a soccer or hockey practice. When our three kids were young we wanted to give them as many opportunities as possible to try different sports and activities. The kids got fresh air, exercise and learned to play as a team, follow directions and get along with others. They seemed to really enjoy it, trying everything from t-ball, football, hockey, lacrosse and everyone played soccer from the time they were about three years old.

I remember the crisp fall mornings the best. For my husband and I it was a juggling act to decide who would take who where. Most often games and practices did not overlap, but occasionally we had to go in different directions. I was always looking at the schedule, and Joe and I would decide who was doing what.

If Joe would take them to soccer, which was many times, I would stay home and clean house, or cook, or catch up from the busy week, so if it was my turn to take the kids to soccer on that early Saturday morning, I relished the thought of a nice hot cup of coffee and sitting on the sidelines and relaxing in my folding sports chair (owned by every parent with kids in soccer). I would sit, relax and sip while the kids ran drills with the coaches. It was an opportunity to do nothing, just sit and not feel guilty about not doing dishes or grocery shopping or cleaning toilets. Those moments were so rare back then as we had three kids and a big house and we, like many others, were both working. It was an incredibly busy time, but we were young and energetic and we did have a lot of fun. In our house, the kids came first and as a family we tried to give them every opportunity for fun, education and sports.

The kids did not only play sports, everyone also tried band and Sara seemed to enjoy it the most, joining a multi-school band and actually traveling to play in parades all over Minnesota and even to Washington DC and Colorado. There were also years of dance and plays and swimming. They liked competitive sports and we liked watching them.

I never saw our going to practices and games as a burden, it was truly fun. We got to know a lot of the parents of our kid’s friends and we got to know all of the families from the neighborhood. The games and practices became a social event for the parents. Like in every crowd there were the over serious mom’s and the mom’s who thought their kids were bound to be professional athletes and the valedictorian of the class, and those moms who were nice enough to take the lead role in fundraising, so every kid would get a jersey with their name on the back and the moms and dads got jerseys with their kids name on it. There were those moms who yelled the loudest and were the most fun at the games, to the point where it crossed your mind of whether there was only “coffee” in their insulated cup. The games were a lot of fun and brought everybody closer in the shared cheering for the teams.

The practices were sometimes more than a social event, where we, as the moms, could chit-chat about everything from our struggles to keep the house clean, to pet issues, and how to make sure the kids get their homework done, to the fun events coming up at school or in the community. Sometimes we just exchanged funny stories about family life and we laughed as we kept filling our coffees from our metal thermos. For some of us it was an hour or so of no responsibilities and a time to commiserate with other moms, for others it was a time to seek advice from other mothers and be encouraged that raising kids is sometimes an art and not a science and that despite all of our concerns and worries everything would be fine. That love and a hug are good every day and not to sweat the small stuff as perfection is not only impossible, but would be detrimental to the sheer enjoyment of life’s surprises.

We thought enrolling our kids in sports was all about them and it was great for them over the years, but we did not realize the side benefits for ourselves as parents and especially moms. We learned from one another and we became closer as a community as we would see the same families over and over from sport to sport and from band concert to school play. Raising kids is being

part of a school and a community and should not be done in isolation. We can gain strength, encouragement and joy from one another in the shared experience. The old saying that it takes a village to raise a child shows a lot of wisdom, and is not only an expression of what is good for the child, but shows real wisdom on the support and encouragement that we all need as parents. Support, love and encourage one another as we navigate together through the beauty that is family life.

The Joy of Seizing Rare Opportunities

November 12, 2015November 10, 2015Leave a comment

I have found that opportunities sometimes present themselves in the blink of an eye, and we are either smart enough to accept them or we let them go and they are gone forever. I had such an event this past summer. My son is a senior in college studying Geology at Winona. I was quite busy at work, but he called and said he wanted to go to the Duluth area and see some rock formations and he would be doing some hiking on the Superior hiking trail.

Now my son probably would have loved his time alone or would have liked to bring a friend, but he knows how much I love the Superior hiking trail and the Duluth area, so he was kind enough to think of me and offer to take me along. He also knows that if possible, I never turn down an opportunity for an adventure or a road trip. That is way more fun than working. I have never studied geology, but it is one of those fun subjects everyone likes to hear about and who has not collected rocks at one time or another. I have always loved rocks and now as the mother of a geologist, I have rocks everywhere at our house and in the garage and in the gardens. I love them and so jumped at a chance to go along.

We have a lot of history with Duluth. It is one of our family’s favorite places. We took the kids there every year when they were young. I have a Minnesota bar convention in Duluth every second year and the kids would get to go along, and in the other years we made sure we at least went for a long weekend. The Bar conventions had a multitude of family fun planned, while we were busy at the convention meetings. One year the kids rode a Pizza train from Duluth to Two Harbors that had music and magic acts and activities for the kids during the ride. This kept them busy with Dad while the Bar convention had a cocktail party for the members. The kids still remember it and I actually think one of them still has the conductor hat she got on that train ride over ten years ago.

I went to college in Duluth too and so it has strong memories for me, but more importantly it is one of the most beautiful areas of Minnesota. It has hiking, biking, good restaurants, beautiful waterfalls and scenery, and nice hotels right on the Lake in Canal Park. I had worked my way
through college cooking at Grandma’s Saloon and Deli in Canal Park and I was actually fortunate enough to live on Park Point across the lift bridge from Grandma’s in Duluth, when I was a Junior and Senior in college. Three of us girls working at Grandma’s rented the house on the lake side from the Manager of Grandma’s. It was a beautiful place. I fell asleep to the sounds of Lake Superior waves hitting the shores and the sound of the bridge and the large loaded ore boats communicating by sound as they went through the lift bridge on their trek across Lake Superior.

When Ben was nice enough to call to see if I could go along to Duluth, I could have easily said I just could not make it. Making changes in my schedule and rearranging my calendar is not impossible, but it takes some work on my part. Thank goodness I seized the moment. Without hesitation I said yes and asked and firmed up the days we were going. I made the changes to my schedule and I made us reservations at the Inn on Lake Superior, my favorite hotel. It has nice rooms and pools, but they are also right on the Lake and have beautiful views. You can walk right out the back door of the hotel onto their back patio and you are on the walking trail on the shore of Lake Superior. At night they have a fire pit going and they bring large trays of the makings for smores. You can walk in the dark along the lake and actually walk out onto the pier to the lighthouse and look back at the Duluth lights glimmering against the dark backdrop of hills. It is beautiful!

We had three days and a packed schedule for our adventure, starting the first afternoon with a hike to the end of Park Point. We had beautiful weather and hiked the entire way until we could see Wisconsin. It is a lovely trail that starts at the airport at the end of the road on the Point and goes through old growth pine forests and along the beach. We of course had dinner at Grandma’s and Ben had to again hear my stories of days gone by, when I worked there and the fun we had. We went to Ely and went down into the old mine and the entire way there and back Ben stopped and pointed out interesting rock formations and areas he needed to see, or ones he had seen on past field studies and wanted to show me. It is amazing to think that I have driven that North Shore so many times over the years and he could stop and point out rock formations and even an old fault line that I had never noticed before. It is so interesting when your kids take up such a fun area of study and you as a parent learn something new.

The Soudan mine, now a State Park open to tours, was particularly interesting. We had been there when our kids were very young, but Ben was so young he could barely remember it. When we first got our hardhats to go into the small, loud elevator to descend over a mile into the earth, a light went off for him. He said he did remember the hard hats and the elevator ride. He was fascinated with the mine tour now that he has so much knowledge about the geology of it all. We both had a wonderful time and I learned a lot.

On our last day we hiked a small portion of the Superior hiking trail. This is a gem of our state. It winds through heavy forests, up and down rocky ledges and along waterfalls and streams. It has beautiful bridges and is well maintained, safe and well mapped. We ran into other hikers occasionally, but we felt completely immersed in nature. Being experienced in such things, we had plenty of water and some Gatorade and snacks along. We took our time and we took a few rest stops. It was just he and I, and we had a nice chance to talk about everything from the family, our past adventures, plans for future adventures to some of his plans for after college. It was so great to hear the birds and the water flowing and feel the moist, cool air of the thick forest, and to just spend time together. It was warm on the trail and after more than 4 hours of hiking, we were really sweaty and hot. We stopped at the next State Park rest area and completely changed clothes before finding another good local restaurant for a meal together.

Once those kids leave for college they need to forge their own life and they are busy with that, and that is a good thing, but it is so nice when we can take an opportunity like this between their busy life and ours, to be together even if just a few days. Even though I was tired after our trek in the woods, I felt refreshed and more alive than I had in weeks. Nature does that to a person, but more importantly sharing time in nature with those we love is life renewing.

Had I not taken that spur of the moment opportunity to go with Ben when he called and not juggled my calendar around to spend time with him on the North Shore, I would have lost the opportunity for a great hike and education in the geology of Northern Minnesota, but more importantly I would have forever lost that moment of time with him. There is sheer joy in seizing those rare opportunities. They present themselves in a moment and if we do not seize the moment, the moment is gone forever. Fun living is the seizing of those rare opportunities that present themselves.

Baby Turtles and Exotic Birds are Magical

November 5, 2015November 5, 2015Leave a comment

Costa Rica is an unbelievable, underestimated, affordable gem of the Americas. When Joe and I visited Costa Rica we had high expectations to see amazing things and have some amazing experiences. We were not disappointed. The people of Costa Rica are friendly and welcoming. The food was fresh and we could drink water right from the tap. We swam in natural hot springs in the shadow of a volcano and we zip lined and took hanging bridge tours in the cloud forests and the rain forests. It is a beautiful, relaxing place to experience all kinds of fun.

I always travel with a camera so I can capture some of the coolest things, but I also try not to let my need for some photos interfere with my experience in the moment. I want to enjoy it firsthand, not see everything through the lens of a camera. In Costa Rica this was a challenge because I could have had my camera in hand the entire time with the constant, beautiful subject matter presenting itself.

As we hiked in the rain forest and the hanging bridges in the cloud forests, we saw birds that I did not even know existed. The beauty was shocking, and I loved spotting and trying to photograph the exotic birds, even though I am not by any means a bird expert. I was not always successful in taking good photos, but I did get a few beauties. We had read on the internet that one of the most mysterious and beautiful birds in Costa Rica was the Quetzal. I did not get a good photo of this bird, but we were there during its mating season and we did get to see a male and a female as they flew around through the thick forest canopy.

The Quetzal got its name from the Aztecs and they used the beautiful green tail feathers of the males in their ceremonies. These tales, told by our local guides, as we walked through the hazy, moist, dark, cloud forests, about the Quetzal and its connections to the Aztecs, a mysterious group of people that are shrouded in stories of elaborate ceremonies, human sacrifices and enormous reserves of gold, made the experience even more intriguing. Many books and movies have been done over the years and our interest and fantasies about the Aztecs helped set the mood as we quietly walked through the forest, clutching cameras and binoculars and stepping back into time. It helped that we also saw ruins and remnants of former civilizations all through Costa Rica. It added to the believability of the elaborate rituals and drama from the great civilizations of the past.

We also saw hummingbirds and their nests. Even though we have hummingbirds in Minnesota and see them occasionally, the number and variety in Costa Rica was like nothing we had seen before. We saw flocks of hummingbirds in the forest of Costa Rica and we saw many different species including one that was quite large. The parks and nature preserves had feeding areas that attracted hundreds of them in many different colors.

Costa Rica has been very proactive in preserving forests and habitat for their exotic birds and wildlife. We saw toucans and odd looking blue jays, as well as birds with beards and long fluffy feathers sometimes on their heads and other times on their necks. I have always loved hiking and I love looking around as I hike and in Costa Rica, I did not even realize how far we were walking, because we were so enamored with the surroundings.

Towards the end of our vacation in Costa Rica we signed up for a night time turtle hatching tour on the Guanacaste coast. We boarded a large van as it was getting dark at our resort. We had a driver and a guide. We signed up for the Turtle hatching tour, because we knew that it was green sea turtle nesting time. We
had seen the large green sea turtles while sailing the Guanacaste coast to go snorkeling in the days before our night tour. Turtle watching and hatching is a popular activity in Costa Rica. They protect their turtles and believe that education and connection between travelers and the turtles builds our appreciation of the turtles and helps to gain supp
ort for their protection. As we rode in the van, the guide informed us to be careful and not use flash on the turtles and to be careful not to step on the baby hatchling turtles. They wanted us to observe, but not interrupt the large females from laying their eggs and not disturb the baby turtles from their quest out of the sand and their race to the water.

We rode in anticipation along narrow dirt roads in the darkness, trying to double check our cameras to make sure we did not disturb the baby turtles. After we parked we still had a long
walk in the darkness, on a narrow path through the heavy brush that suddenly opened onto a dark beach, lit up only by a large orange moon glimmering over the water. You did not even need a flashlight to see the sand and what was ahead. The scene took my breath away. I had to look and pause, to soak in the moment. I could not believe DSCN1773 that I was here in this moment of time, surrounded by such beauty and nature. How lucky could a person be to be able to travel to such a place?

Time and other concerns became irrelevant; as we studied the edge of the ocean to see the large female green sea turtle lumber onto shore, heavy with eggs, to find the perfect spot to lay her eggs. As the guides whispered the details of the females’ trek to the beach upon which she herself had been born to lay her own eggs, we watched as she made her way to the tree line. As we saw her pick out the perfect spot, the other guide called to us in hush tones to come quickly, but watch our step as we made our way to another area where he had found a prior nest that was now hatching. We stepped carefully and stood still once we found our spot. As we watched, baby turtles no bigger than a fifty cent piece started popping their heads out of the sand, as if pushed from below and, as if being chased, they wasted no time in crawling as fast as their little flippers could take them towards the water and into the ocean. How they knew to run towards the ocean and not toward the trees, I do not know. If our guides told us I missed it, but I stood fascinated as one after the other emerged from the sand and each headed in the right direction. Not one went the wrong way, even for a few steps. They took off towards the ocean the minute their little heads emerged. There was no hesitation about which way to go.

Over the next few hours we moved from watching females the size of push lawn mowers, digging nests and laying golf ball size, pure white eggs, to watching in awe as the tiny bay turtles ran in the bright moonlight, for the safety of the ocean. I had to pinch myself that I was really there. I took few pictures so that I could fully drink in the complete experience. It felt magical to be on that quiet beach at night with waves gently lapping the sand and the moon lighting our way.

For someone like me, who does most of their work in an office and in Minnesota, this was a lifetime experience that left me wanting more. It was so healing. It was the kind of experience that makes you wonder why you have spent so much time indoors and you think hard about how you can travel more, spend more time outdoors and appreciate the nature and beauty of our world. It is not just that you want to see nature, you want to experience it. Experiencing nature changes a person. It touches you temporarily in the magical experience unfolding as you watch, but it also changes your perspective and it affects your permanent outlook. Those workday problems of the office seem small, conquerable and insignificant in the big picture.

I can put myself back onto that beach and into that rain forest, and I can feel my blood pressure falling and my stress level melting away. We know when we are with nature that we are small in
a big world and that we are meant to be outdoors and not struggling and stressing over things that many times do not warrant the amount of energy and worry that we choose to give to it. Spend more time in nature and in the appreciation of this big beautiful world, observing its magical wonders.

Capturing Our Life Through Art

October 29, 2015October 29, 2015Leave a comment

Once the weather starts turning cooler in the fall, I have an overwhelming need to dig in closets and drawers and try to start nesting for the winter. As much as I love summer and the water, and outdoor activities, I enjoy fall for the colors and the crisp cool air and I enjoy the quiet peacefulness and coziness of a weekend in a warm house in the winter.

My need to dig through closets and spend time cleaning house and getting rid of stuff that I do not need probably starts because the hustle and bustle of summer leaves this wake of stuff laying around that we didn’t take the time to put away, rushing from one activity to another before summer passes us by. We fit a lot into one season. It is probably good we do not live in California with the fine weather all year round. We would never have a winter to recover. Don’t get me wrong, we do plenty in winter, but it is no comparison to the summer and the back-to-back fun-ness in which we engage. When the weather starts turning, I clean coolers and put them away, hang the lifejackets and the bikes, and put away the adventure pants. I dig in my drawers and closets and donate all things taking up space that are no longer used. The cleaning and organizing process is easier now that we are empty nesters. It is just less space and people to pick up after.

In cleaning drawers this week I ran across a large box and folder with black and white photos of my family. When the kids were younger and we lived in the woods of Blaine, we had a really nice 35mm camera. I decide to try black and white photography. I love the look of old black and white photos and this was before everybody carried a phone with a camera that has black and white options. It does not seem that long ago that I decided to get artsy and try black and white photography, but the pictures are telling of how long ago it was. My kids are all now in their twenties, so looking at the photos was really fun and brought back a lot of good memories. My kids were really good sports about it. I brought out the costume box and they were willing to participate with multiple costume changes and my direction for an attempt to capture different settings and emotions through my new found artsy photography interest.

Our costume box was amazing. We had every kind of costume you could imagine, from beautiful dresses and dance costumes, to Harry Potter, goulash masks and pretend bloody hands for zombie costumes and of course the gorilla and banana. We had boxes of hats and we had wings, and we had props like fake crows and swords and a staff. Even neighbors borrowed costumes from us when they had an occasion for such things. I loved our costume box and the kids and their friends had a lot of fun with them, even when it was not Halloween. We were known in the neighborhood for our selection of costumes. I think part of the fun for the kids with the “photo” sessions was that they did get to pretend and wear a lot of different costumes. I had to always wait for a sunny day to have the right lighting, but I used our woods as a backdrop and took most photos outside.

I had a lot of fun doing that with the kids and after a weekend of shooting photos, I would take my film to Wal-Mart, who by the way did a great job developing black and whites and actually used real black and white paper for the processing. I could not wait to get the final product back
and the kids and I had a lot of fun looking through them afterwards. Some seemed great by accident and others were definitely not keepers. The fun part in looking through them this fall is that I had kept them all, good and bad. Surprisingly, some of the ones I would not have considered keepers turned out to be some of the best ones with hindsight.
I had a perfect picture of the kids in black and white that I had considered so good that I used it as our Christmas card that year, but the photos leading up to that photo were some of 3some2 the best ones that captured their sense of humor and their sheer joy of goofing off together. I can ask my kids to smile on a picture and they did well, but when I accidentally captured them laughing with each other in between pictures or them trying, unsuccessfully to put on a serious face, for a more dramatic picture, I actually captured them in their most honest and true sense. It is unrehearsed and pure. I see their personalities when I look back at those pictures and I see a family of kids that will always be friends. I see sheer joy in the moment and a camaraderie that they will always share.

As different as they are in many ways, they are close siblings with many fun and loving memories together. My stint of trying my hand at the art of black and white photography actually captured our family in a moment of time when we all lived together and enjoyed every aspect of life, including those slow Sundays in costume together, trying to capture art and emotion, in the
woods of our backyard. I thought I was being artsy, and by accident I created a box of memories that may have faded with time. I look at the photos and I am there in time enjoying the moment.

3some3 Time passes so quickly and even though it seems like yesterday to me, these kids are now gone and forging their lives and making new memories. We still have a lot of great times together, but they will never again be those giggly, young kids who were willing to go along with Mom’s idea to try something new and play dress up, while she tried to get just the right shot. I actually entered a couple of the photos into an art contest in Blaine and even though I did not win, they were displayed in the City Hall for a few months. I felt proud that they had been accepted into the contest and I felt accomplished that I had tried something new and actually enjoyed it more than I thought. We went as a family to look at all of the art and it was special that they could see themselves in an art display.

I did not know it at the time, but I had actually captured our life through art in a moment of time that we will never have again. Make your memories each day, because in the blink of an eye, today is gone and tomorrow is a memory. Days turn into weeks and weeks into years. Don’t let those days fly by without taking time to enjoy each moment and to create beautiful memories for those around you.

The Trevi Fountain and Incorrupt Corpses

October 22, 2015October 21, 2015Leave a comment

Rome is a fascinating place. Normally my philosophy is that each time you travel you should try a new placed, but with Rome, I could return and spend a month or more. The history and sites are amazing. Everything from the Vatican and Catholic wealth and history, to the crumbling ruins of the Roman Empire, the city is full of masterpieces in architecture, sculpture and paintings, and you do not have to be an art snob or a history buff to appreciate it.
I graduated from St. Scholastica with a double major in Nursing and Humanities. For the Humanities degree we had to specialize in one area, and my area was history. That bit of prior study in history, even though it had been many years before visiting Rome, was helpful, but not necessary to appreciate the splendor of the city. We did our research before traveling to make sure we see the best things the city has to offer.

You can take tours of Rome based upon the Dan Brown Novels, like The Da Vinci Code and Angels and Demons, or you can take more general tours covering the most visited and famous fountains and Roman ruins. We opted for a general tour that included the fountains and especially Trevi fountain, which I had read about and seen in the movies all of my life. This tour also covered many of the sites which were in the Dan Brown movies, but also included the Coliseum, the Imperial Roman Forums, the Spanish Steps, the Pantheon and many of the Roman ruins. It lasted most of the day.

We actually saw the Trevi fountain a second time while in Rome while just walking around the city at night on our way to dinner. It was lit in a way that made it look warm, romantic, beautiful and 110910 0506__313 mysterious all at the same time. It was as spectacular as I had imagined. We threw coins in the Trevi fountain and made a wish, just like in the movie Three Coins in a Fountain. Rome was a romantic and beautiful place.

The food in Rome cannot be forgotten. I am a pretty good cook
and I have been trying since we visited Italy to try to make some of these dishes. I have not succeeded. I don’t know if it is the extremely fresh ingredients or the spices or what it is, but I have not been able to even come close to that deliciousness. It is mainly pastas and pizza, but it is nothing like what we have here or anything that I could make, and then there is the wine that is amazing and the Limoncello after dinner. Wow! I have not been able to stop thinking about it.

We went on a completely separate tour of Vatican City and saw everything including St. Peter’sBasilica, the Sistine chapel, the Vatican Museum and we even took the 374 winding staircases to the very top of the Vatican Cupola, where we had a clear day and could see across the entire city. Both Joe and I grew up catholic, so seeing the Vatican after all of those years in catholic school was really something special from a historical, as well as personal perspective.

Joe had been an alter boy and always said he was on the Pontifical crew. That meant he was a server when the Bishop said Mass, at their church in New Ulm. It was a rare event and only the best alter boys served on the pontifical crew. So more jokingly than anything, he reminded me that he would be welcome at the Vatican, because he had served on the pontifical crew. I grew up with an uncle and a cousin who were priests, and six great aunts who were nuns, so I told him I would certainly be welcome, and so started the trash talk of who is the better catholic.

You cannot go into the Vatican with shorts, as you need to have your knees covered and your shoulders covered. We knew this from our research, so I wore a longer skirt and an appropriate shirt with sleeves. Many of the European churches require respectful and appropriate clothing, which is just fine, but it was surprising how many people were being turned away, because they
were wearing shorts and tank tops. Do your research.

We knew that St Peter’s is the site where they believe St. Peter himself was buried. We had also learned from our research that St. Peter’s is literally a burial ground for many of the past popes, and there are supposedly over 90 buried there. Most are interred where they cannot be seen, but St. Peter’s also has at least three dead popes that are on display, some of who passed on many years ago and others like Pope 110909 1119__660 John XXlll who just died in 1963. They are behind glass, encased in the bottom portion of some of the alters, for all to view.

St. Peter’s is a huge church inside, with many alcoves and lots of alters, dedicated to various saints and popes. When you visit you see many people walking around looking at the beautiful statues and the priceless artwork. Others are praying or just reflecting on the history and unbelievable grandeur of their surroundings. People move around quietly, speaking in whispers, in the dimly lit alcoves and under the high ceilings, painted with frescos by the masters. Everyone is trying to get pictures of the beauty around them, even though the lighting is not conducive to good photos.

We were there to see the beauty and grandeur, but I also wanted to see the displayed dead popes and the corpse of Pope Saint Pius X, who died in 1914 and according to the Catholic Church, is showing signs of incorruptibility. Incorrupt corpses are the dead popes or saints, who the church believes do not decay through the normal process of decomposition after death, because of their holiness. The theory is that they were so pure, their body does not decay. According to the church, if a body is embalmed, it cannot be considered incorrupt.

When I read about these on the internet before we went, I had to see them. They were bizarre. One looked like he was almost gilded in gold and another just had a creepy washed out, leathery look. Pope Saint Pius X is now considered a saint and incorrupt. There are about ten saints and popes displayed throughout Italy that are considered incorrupt by the church. One is Saint Francis Xavier, who died in 1552 and another is St. Bernadette who is displayed in France.

Initially, incorruptibility was discovered by accident when the church was moving bodies. Over the years, it has become a religious phenomenon where some believers travel many miles to see the incorrupt corpse, seeking miracle cures and guidance. Because they are incorrupt, the belief is that they have special powers even in death and their sainthood and piety is proven through incorruptibility.

Can a corpse be so pure that it does not decay? Who am I to judge, but it was one of the most interesting concepts and clearly from our visit, you could see that these figures provided many people with comfort and hope. And the reality is that the bodies, despite being many years old, still looked pretty good. Displaying dead bodies can seem ghoulish, but we saw many people praying in front of the dead Popes. Comfort, hope and guidance can come from odd places, but strong beliefs can be very powerful to an individual and the Vatican is a place where one cannot leave without experiencing a powerful presence.

For some, the Vatican is a pilgrimage of a lifetime and for others an interesting historical site steeped in fascinating and tumultuous and sometimes tragic history. But no natter what your religion, the Vatican is a destination that should not be missed. Rome should be at the top of any bucket list. From the Roman ruins to the fountains, the Vatican Museum full of priceless works of art and the city with the best food in the world, Rome is by far one of the most interesting and romantic places we have ever seen. Its multitude of historical sites,
friendly Italians and rich religious history are an experience of a lifetime. When in Rome, throw coins in the fountain and say a prayer in front of a dead saint. Such places can be powerful and electrifying for the soul.

Sun, Surf, Salsa & Dolphins

October 15, 2015October 14, 2015Leave a comment

We have taken a lot of great vacations with our kids over the years, but our trips to Mexico to escape the Minnesota winters rate very high on our favorite’s list. On prior vacations we had been out of the country, but only to Canada. Mexico was our first big trip flying out of the country and it required that everyone in the family have a passport. The kids were young at the time as our first visit was in 2004. We were all very excited about it. Joe booked an all inclusive resort in Playa Del Carmen just south of Cancun. All inclusive resorts are the best deal when you are traveling with kids. The food, drinks and fun are included, so as parents you do not have to keep pulling out your wallet every time the kids need a soda or a meal. The food was amazing. Endless buffets of fresh fruits, veggies, fish, meats and always lots of fresh salsa and chips.

Our resort had informal buffets by the pools, all day long, in case you did not want to miss any of the ocean and pool fun. The pools all had a view of the ocean and the resort staff stood ready at the ocean to lend you fins and snorkels or give you lessons on the sailboats for use by the guests. There was an endless amount of activities to participate in and when you all had too much sun, you could go shopping in the villages or on tours.

There were more formal buffets in two different dining rooms in the main lodge, for evenings,
and vendors sold jewelry under the night sky, perfect to look at while strolling with a glass of wine. Family friendly movies played on the beach at night, and other nights they had magic shows and dancers of all kinds to entertain the guests. We always said it was like being on a cruise, but without the boat. These were fun times with the kids. I had to bring along a lot of sunscreen and big T-shirts so that the hot Mexican sun did not burn their white, winter Minnesota skin. Everyone got too much sun anyway, but we did our best.

On our first trip to Mexico, with our new fresh passports in hand, we decided to go through customs in an order where Joe went through first, and then the kids between us, and me last. So we were book ending our kids to make sure everyone stayed together. After we landed, we gave each of the kids their passports to hold under our watchful eye, and Joe proceeded forward as planned. His passport got a quick stamp and so did Sara and Ben as they went through. When it came to Jenny, just in front of me, the agent looked at her and her passport and looked at me. He looked at a fellow agent beside him and conversed in Spanish, a language I had not mastered enough to follow other than to clumsily order food or a drink, or exchange simple greetings. He was not stamping her passport and continued to discuss something with his coworker and even pointed at her passport. I exchanged a glance with Joe, as he stood just beyond the red ropes after passing through customs and he kind of shrugged. The Mexican customs agent stopped talking and looked at her passport again. I mustered up my best lawyer, authoritative, but respectful, no nonsense voice and said “Is there a problem?” He looked at me and said “no” and stamped her passport and mine and we were through. After we were out of earshot I expressed my concern to Joe and his response was “they were probably just talking about what they wanted for lunch.” That was a good laugh and ended our concern.

We moved on to our awaiting resort van with our tour guides dressed in matching flowery shirts, and we were off for fun and sun! We went sailing and snorkeled with every kind of fish possible. One day we decided to go to a natural water park of sorts called Xcarat. It was a short bus ride away and offered a full day of family fun. It had manatees and birds of every kind. It had bell helmet diving for the entire family. We tried everything. Jenny was the youngest and so on these adventures she had to in some ways be the bravest. She was so small but she put on her heavy bell helmet and she snorkeled with us and she never complained. I sometimes think it is why she is so adventurous now in her twenties because she was required to participate in a lot of things at a very young age.

Xcarat also had snorkeling on a river through caves and it offered swimming with the dolphins. Even though this was a little pricy, I viewed it as a once in a lifetime opportunity to enjoy the dolphins when the kids were most excited about the allure and beauty of dolphins and the ocean. They had seen movies about dolphins and read about dolphins, but to touch a Mex04b nd swim with them was magical. The looks on their faces was worth the price. It was the highlight of the trip and something they still talk about as adults.

The kids loved the people in Mexico and interacted with them with ease. The young adults working at the resort worked on teaching the kids Spanish. When they came to get towels at the pool they used the Spanish word they had learned to ask for them and said please and thank you in Spanish. Sara studied a little Spanish in school and actually helped us out when we were a little lost at the Xcarat resort. We had gotten into an area that was more remote in the park while looking for the Mex04d restaurant. The workers at the resort in that particular area were working on a construction project and not the workers trained to work with guests. They spoke no English so Sara stepped in and tried her best to use her Spanish to find our way to the area for lunch. She was successful and they understood enough of what she was saying to direct us to where we needed to be. The kids even learned enough Spanish on our vacations to negotiate purchases at the little stores and to order at restaurants.

We also went to Mexico and an all inclusive in 2007 when the kids were a little older, and that time we went to the island of Cozumel. That was an entirely different experience because they were older and we did different things. The girls went parasailing and Ben and I went scuba diving. That Ben has always been a lot better than me at diving. He is a natural. Calm and cool on the dive and he was the best dive buddy ever. He watched after me and we saw sharks and barracuda together. It was a mother and son bonding event.

One day on Cozumel we rented a van and a local driver to take us slowly around the entire island. We stopped at beaches and the Mayan ruins and the shops and local restaurants. We saw sights and tried to enjoy the local food, culture and the people, in the warm Mexican sunshine. We had good times together and filled each day with activities, and then at the end of each busy day, when we were all tired from too much sun and fun, we had great food together while listening to the live music and shows provided by the resort.

I am so thankful we took the time to do these adventures together. We will always have those memories. Once the kids started college and worked on creating their own lives, making those family memories was a lot harder. We took the time away from our jobs and the kid’s busy sports, band and school schedules to make family time that they will remember forever. We notr only had a great time, but the kids learned to interact with and respect people from other countries and cultures, and they learned to be brave in the big blue ocean and in trying new and exciting and sometimes scary things, like snorkeling in caves. They learned how to go through customs and navigate through airports together. They ate unfamiliar food and learned to love it. They swam with dolphins and they laughed and played together in the warm sunshine. There is nothing more important than family and family adventures. In hindsight, we had a really good time together as a family, but our kids also learned life lessons and now have fond memories of our time together. It made us all closer and stronger. Time is irreplaceable. Use it well.

Fun Living

Stories by Joan Quade