Intergenerational Travel

May 31, 20151 Comment

The title sounds like something out of Star Trek, but the actual trip proved to be more fun than space exploration. A few years back, when the kids were in High School, we decided to take a trip to Colorado with my parents, our teens, and an extra neighbor boy, Chris who had spent a lot of time at our house, and was very close to all of us. We planned the trip with Mom and Dad driving their big RV, and we would follow in our Yukon with all of our camping gear. The kids rode mainly in the RV with Mom and Dad and I rode with them a lot too. Poor Joe had to drive by himself a lot.

We stopped along the way to eat. It was great having the RV and its refrigerator with all of those constantly hungry teens along. We had reservations at Rocky Mountain National Park with the tent in a site close to the RV site. My dad was always the grill master and did a lot of the cooking for the crowd on his little grill. It took us a day to get there and our weather could not have been better. We settled in and as we looked around I could see this amazement on the kids faces. We had done a lot of travel with our kids, but Chris had not been so lucky, and none of them had been to the Rockies before. It was worth the entire trip just to see Chris’ face as he saw these beautiful mountains rising above the large cool pines. The campsite was right in the middle of all of this beauty. The sites, cool moist air, and beautiful smells were almost overwhelming at first.

The mountains are so large, it almost made you dizzy to look up, and of course at that altitude the air was thin. It is, in my estimation, one of the most beautiful places on earth. I am old enough that I remember John Denver’s best song, Rocky Mountain High. I could not help but think of the lyrics: “He was born in the summer of his 27^th year coming home from a place he had never been before…” The Rocky Mountains are majestic enough that it does give you a natural high and there is a certain comfort level when you are enveloped by them. There is no way to be stressed from the office when you hike the trails and witness the majesty of this most beautiful park.
We did activities for everyone. My parents were really flexible with that and actually it was nice having them along to give rides and pick us up. We planned a twelve mile hike up into the mountains to see a lake in the park. Dad drove us with his RV to the site to drop us off at the trail head. He got in a little trouble with the ranger for driving his RV on a narrow road, but he had so many years experience as a truck driver that he accomplished the task with no problems at all so the Ranger just smiled and let him go.

I loved having teenagers. On that same hike, we started off on the trail and I happen to look at my daughter Jenny’s feet and here she was going on a twelve mile hike with her purse on her arm and in flip flops. Well the RV had already left so nothing to do about that now. I told her she should have worn her hiking boots, but she insisted it would be fine and of course it was. It is nice to have young and tolerant feet! I had to smile sometimes, because I saw others on the trail look at her sandals and kind of cringe, but she did not even have one blister or anything.

We hiked up the six miles to the lake and it was worth every step to get there. It was a beautiful blue crystal lake surrounded by those majestic snow kissed mountains. I took a picture of Ben, Chris, and Jenny resting and eating our sandwiches by that lake. I actually have it blown up in my office, it is so gorgeous. Chris kept feeding his Oreos to a squirrel. It was so cute. We ate our lunch and took stock of our water supply. It was a little low, but to our surprise that big purse Jenny was carrying on her back also had a large bottle of Gatorade in it. That purse and little girl in her flip flops made everyone’s day. Gatorade was just what we needed for that hike back down the mountain where Dad and Mom were waiting with their RV. We also went White Water rafting down the Royal Gorge, and Mom and Dad stood on the Royal Gorge 050102 1310__1086 Bridge, watched for us and took pictures when we went by. We did a lot of fun things together on that vacation

I have to admit I was a little hesitant at the beginning of the trip as to how it would all work with three generations traveling together, but I have to say it was one of the best and most memorable vacations we ever had. I hope my parents can say the same thing. At that time Mom and Dad had been empty nesters for quite some time and were not used to the noise and commotion of a family of teens, and of course these children took after me and were loud and could have fun no matter where they were. But Mom and Dad were always upbeat and never seemed bothered by the commotion. They seemed to enjoy seeing the mountains through the eyes of this curious group of teens, who had never been to the Rocky Mountains before. They took in stride the shoes that they had to trip over going in and out of the RV and the constant feeding and care that it took to keep this group happy.

I was a little worried that the kids, with all of their electronics and such, may not like the rustic camping and all of the hiking and being in close quarters with us and the grandparents, but they also were never crabby or a problem of any kind. Once in a while during the trip one would retreat to a bedroom and play a game on their phone or something by themselves, but soon they would be back again in the thick of things. They never once fought or got into any trouble. They were easy to be around. It was fun seeing how everyone interacted. They would help with cooking and small chores around the RV.

Everyone got along the entire trip and some became very close. I think my kids became closer to their grandparents and I know Chris became closer to them and to us too. Our kids became closer and they still talk about this trip as one of the best. It was a one hundred percent success story and now that our kids are gone from home and my parents are not as flexible to travel that far anymore, I am sure thankful that we did that trip with them. It has provided fond memories for our kids as well as us, and for my parents. Life is short and the time you have with your kids at home and your parents is short. Take those opportunities to try something out of your comfort zone. For us intergenerational travel meant witnessing the beauty of our county together and seeing it through the eyes of the young and the older. For us it strengthened our family bonds and created a common memory and stories that we all share.

My Mom Has Skills

May 28, 2015May 28, 2015Leave a comment

My mom is one of the most competent people I know. She has never been afraid to try anything, and in any situation, she always seems to know what to do. Even though she is in her eighties, she can work her cell phone to text her children and grandchildren, and she can even send pictures. She is on Facebook and can navigate her computer better than many people who are a lot younger than her. She has really kept up with the new technology.

When I was growing up, she sewed our clothes on the farm, kept a clean house, and could bake the best bread and pie. She cared for the farm animals and her family as if she had advanced medical training. My brother once dislocated his shoulder playing Tarzan in the big barn, and when he came screaming into the house she grabbed his arm and snapped the shoulder back into place and he went back to playing. Growing up we believed she could do anything.

She has many talents, but she has always had a knack for caring for both babies and animals. After I had my first baby, she came to help me within a few hours of our return home from the hospital. Even though I had been a Labor and Delivery nurse for seven years, the baby and I were both crying within an hour of being home. Between hormones and exhaustion, I really needed her. She barely had her coat off and she sent me for a nap, while she rocked my baby to sleep. I invited her into the operating room with my husband and me for the c-section birth of my third child. We have always been close.

She is legendary with my kids when it comes to animals. They know she kills spiders with her bare hand and is not afraid of anything. My kids tell the story of one particular Thanksgiving at our house. Mom and Dad were there, and lots of relatives. The house was full and loud with pre-dinner activities. The kids were pre-teen and running around playing. While setting the table and cooking the meal, the kids accidentally let the parakeet out of its cage. It was a mild mannered bird, except if you tried to hold it. Then it was a crazy biter and they referred to it as birdzilla. They were afraid of it. Mom suggested that the kids just pick it up and put it back in its cage. They were insistent that one could not touch it, because it was a biter. My mom just laughed and told them it’s just a little bird, as she swept it up so quickly the bird did not have time to fly or know what happened. To the surprise of everyone, she had it in one hand with its little head between two fingers. The kids were in awe as she did not flinch; while it was biting her all the way back to the cage. She just talked to it in a soothing voice.

When we were growing up on the farm she cared for our farm animals, and taught us to help as we got older. She tended a large garden and we grew a lot of our own food. She was the one who almost always said yes to our pet requests. She brought home a little baby house dog for us when we were very young, and we all agreed on the name Sparky, with her help.

She brought him home and set him on the floor with us, as we sat around in a circle. I think I was only about three at the time and my sister was six and my brother was five. She told us to be very gentle and she showed us how to pet our new puppy, so as not to hurt it. She was such a good teacher. Giving us the knowledge and know how to take care of him and yet not hurt him, even if it was by accident. She showed us how to put a mother cat at ease by petting her and talking calmly to her, reassuring her that it was OK for Mom to hold her kittens and show them to us. Animals were at ease with her.

A few years later she let us get a larger outdoor farm dog when our cousin’s dog had puppies. We were convinced that the one puppy wanted to go home with us after playing with them. She made sure we were responsible to feed him. Forgetting to feed him and give him water was not an option. She made it clear that the animals depend upon us. We ended up being very close to that dog. He was never more than a few feet away from us as we played on the farm.

She and my dad still fish a lot in their boat, and she has learned to run their GPS and fish finder with great ease. She can even trouble-shoot and change settings as she needs to, depending on the lake they are on. She is good at fishing and loves traveling. She and dad have been everywhere in their RV, and she has been the navigator for them through mountains and in large cities.

My mom was as strict as she needed to be, to keep us from getting into trouble and making sure we did well in school and respected our elders. I distinctly remember my mom sending my brother and me out to weed the corn field after she caught us shooting homemade bows and arrows at the playhouse door while our sister was inside. She came and got us after an hour or so and made us promise never to do anything that dangerous again. She had to deal with a lot of shenanigans.

She had a lot of tolerance for our love of pets. Once when we were pre-teens we visited the elderly farmer next door and came back with a box covered with a towel, and carefully carried it into our kitchen. We walked very gently, and my mom had just finished putting dinner on the table and could see that we had what we thought was a treasure. She came over and asked what was in the box, knowing she probably would not like the answer. We giggled and pulled the towel off showing six puffy yellow baby geese. We told her our neighbor Lawrence had given them to us and we were going to keep them in our room. She rolled her eyes and without hesitation said you cannot keep them in your room, but she did not say we had to take them back. She told us they have to be under a warming light and she helped us set it up in our kitchen, until they were big enough to go outside. I loved those geese. They were like watch geese. They were very loud when someone drove into the yard.

Likewise she let us keep a horse from that same neighbor when we convinced her that it kept coming to our farm because it was lonely, because Lawrence told us he was getting too old to ride it and he said we could have it. I had my own calf every year to bottle feed and we had chickens, baby pigs, and once she let us get a chinchilla. She helped us nurse a pigeon back to health after it hit a window and hurt its wing. She helped bandage its wing and showed us how to feed it oats until it was healed enough to fly. Mom taught us to milk a cow and how to pick chicken eggs. She taught us how to give medicine and vaccinations to calves, and once in a particularly cold rainy spring, she brought a newborn calf into the house to save it. It was in bad shape and would have died had she not dried it out by putting it into a large box and warmed it up with an old bonnet hair drier.

Mom could fix our ouchies with a kiss, and she could fix the bailer when it broke. She always looked good, and even though she had all of us, we were clean and well behaved in church on Sundays. Her house was clean and we were well fed. She accomplished it all and kept up with the farm. Looking back on it, I do not know how she did it all.

Mom was good to us in tolerating our curiosity, and she has always been good with her grandchildren in teaching them kindness and care of animals. My mom taught us to be gentle and to care for soft, small helpless things in this world that depend upon us. We all have called her often over the years for advice on kids, puppies, baking, fixing things, and just to talk when we were stressed.

I have only fond memories of growing up on the farm with her, all of us running barefoot, playing with the animals and eating tomatoes right out of the garden. Mom showed no fear in how she approached any project and we have tried to show her same confidence and competence in our endeavors. She taught us independence, self reliance and she had confidence in us that we could accomplish anything.

The Great Gallery

May 24, 2015May 23, 2015Leave a comment

In the same year, my Jenny, the baby of the family, graduated from high school and my husband turned 60. The other two kids were in college and busy with their own lives, so to celebrate we planned a hiking vacation to Utah just the three of us. We flew to Las Vegas, rented a big jeep, and off we went into the desert to drive and hike in the Grand Circle of Utah. The Grand Circle has many National and State parks and the sites are breathtaking. Jenny had decided to study archeology in college, and so some of our stops and hikes involved finding and photographing ancient rock art.

One of our adventures involved hiking 13 miles down into Horseshoe Canyon to see the Great Gallery. The Great Gallery is part of Canyonlands National park, and is so remote and difficult to get to that it gets very few visitors, but those who come are drawn to see the world renown rock art.

The hike was not as difficult as it sounds. We had our hiking boots and adventure pants on. They claim to have a lot of rattle snakes in the canyon, but we never saw any. We had our food, snacks, and water along. As we made our way down into the canyon, and along the canyon stream toward our destination, we talked about the past cultures which had lived in the canyon and the stories we had read about the people who made the rock art.

Our expectation was to see something great. The long trek to get there added to the mystery and sacredness of it all, and the Great Gallery did not disappoint. It was spectacular. We were initially speechless, as the three of us stood in front of the red rock wall, with the six foot high painted figures, dating back 2000 to 5000 years ago. They were larger then I had imagined and each of us scanned over the multiple figures of people, animals, mysterious symbols and etchings left by those who were in the valley long before us.

It took us a while to express in words our thoughts and feelings as we stood there, but we all agreed that we were viewing something very special. This was something bigger then ourselves and something to remind us that we are but a small thing in a big universe. We have traveled a lot, but this was one of the most interesting and moving sites we have ever seen. It almost felt spiritual in the sense that these ancient tribes made and displayed this art thousands of years ago in potentially religious or cultural ceremonies, and yet even though they were long gone, we could witness and feel a little of what they felt in expressing themselves in this harsh and yet beautiful land, as they strived to survive and thrive with their families.

It was a good reminder for Joe and me to appreciate the beautiful and mysterious things that life still holds for us, and it was good for Jenny to see the possibilities of the future for her in this amazing profession of Archeology. These experiences bring us closer and yet show us how big the world can be for us if we are open to new adventures.

Cool Change

May 21, 2015May 21, 20151 Comment

Many people may not know this about me, but I sing in my car on the way to and from work, and back and forth to Court, and pretty much any time I am in the car. If my employees knew this, they would have made me a soothing playlist long ago, to set the mood on the way to work, before I hit the doors. I should not admit this, but normally I am a pretty type A personality at work. It is just the type of work that I do, with lots of deadlines and demands. We are a very productive bunch. Being a litigation attorney is not a relaxing, stress-less job, so setting the mood with music would help.

I have always liked music. Back in the 1970’s I had one of those round plastic radios that you could carry around and also hang on your bike. I got it for Christmas and I still have it. The signal was so bad back when I listened to the greatest hits sent via the air waves from Little Falls to our farm in Buckman. Even though the signal was terrible and scratchy at best, I listened to it all of the time. Luckily the quality and choices for music has improved significantly. I can put whatever I want on my iPod and play it in the car and on our boat or wherever. I listen to some of those same songs that I first heard on my little red round Panasonic.

Even though I am from a very musical family, I was not born with that talent. My parents were good about giving us a variety of experiences and seeing what we liked, whether it was sports or music or theater. My older sister Kathy was very talented on the piano and the guitar, and she had the coveted honor of being asked to play in church, so my parents maybe thought I had talent too. Kathy was very good and still sings in her own church choir and plays the piano.

I took three years of piano lessons when I was young, and I think after three years of piano taught by the Catholic school Nun, who played the organ in church, she politely broke it to my parents that maybe their money would be better spent elsewhere then on lessons for me. I was totally fine with that because, after all, I was such a tomboy that I did not want to stay in the house long enough to do any practicing. I would rather bottle feed a calf in the pasture or play with the dogs and cats than learn piano. Despite my lack of talent, I loved to listen to music and I still do.

Sometimes I select the music by my mood and other times I select the music to change my mood. Now, I listen to everything from 1970’s music, to pop, rap and piano music by George Winston. No matter what I listen to, it does affect my mood. I have the theme from Miami Vice on my iPod and, I will admit that listening to it on the boat while we are driving fast brings me right back to that opening scene from the show. Those guys were so cool in their Hawaiian shirts, driving a super cool boat, super fast on the Miami shores with the wind in their hair. Also, who cannot listen to Phillip Phillips’ song Home and not be put in a calm and loving mood, and on the other hand NEVER listen to Led Zeppelin’s song called, Rock and Roll while driving. You will speed and you will get a ticket! I dare you to try.

Everyone knows what kind of mood Barry White songs put you in. (Insert sexy growling noise), but no matter what your favorite jam, songs are poetry and the lyrics and beat affect our soul.

When our kids were young and we went on multiple driving vacations we referred to the song Born to be Wild as the vacation song and played it often and loud. The kids loved it with the windows rolled down and singing that crazy song and it made everyone in the mood for an adventure. There are many times like that in my life that we developed a “theme song.” When we went hiking in the deserts of Utah, our song was Hotel California by the Eagles. Of course it starts with “On a dark desert highway, cool wind in my hair.”

Interestingly last year when Joe and I were in Costa Rica and decided to move forward with a sale of our family home and find a place on the lake now that we were empty nesters, we had the song by Little River Band called Cool Changes in our heads. We had lived in our family home and raised our kids for 25 years. As the song goes, “Now that my life is so prearranged, I know that it’s time for a cool change.” We love that song and it has been our theme song to make this exciting and yet terrifying change to a new home on the lake, just the two of us. We are aways from retirement yet but we have always loved the water and decided that there was no reason to wait. We couldlive on the lake and still work to retirement.

I played Cool Changes when I needed some bravery as we signed things to put our home up for sale and to buy our new one. I needed it while I emptied closets full of toys and childhood memories, and we all made decisions on what to move and what to store or donate. After all it is not easy leaving a place that has been your home for 25 years. Our home held so many happy family memories and good times.

We had three acres in the woods of Blaine on the edge of a large preserve, so while we technically lived in the city it felt like the woods. It was home for us in every sense of that warm and comforting word. By the time the day arrived where we moved our possessions out, we were so ready for our Cool Change that there were no tears. We know that while it was our home for so many years, we always know that home is where we are and where our kids and family come to relax, talk, play, laugh, consult, cry, rest, eat, drink and be LOVED.

Now that we are all moved in and settled in ourroutines, we love the lake life and each time Little River Band’s Cool Change comes on the playlist, I am grateful that we had the bravery to give something new a try. It is always easier to keep things the same, but it is good for the soul to change things up. We had a dream of living on the water and we made that happen. As the song says, We May Never Pass this Way Again. Chase your dreams.

My Wild and Crazy Dad

May 17, 2015May 21, 2015Leave a comment

My dad was a fun guy when we were growing up. There was nothing he would not try at least once and he never met anyone that he did not like and everyone liked him. He was a positive guy with a positive attitude. He is still fun and still positive, even though he is in his Eighties.

He grew up in Montana originally, and then his family moved to Buckman, Minnesota. Dad was very talented musically. He could play guitar and when he sang he sounded like Johnny Cash. He actually played in a local band with a woman who played accordion and concertina and sang and they had a drummer. He quit the band when we were young and I think the staying up late on weekends in the local bars playing music became a problem for a guy taking care of a young family. However music was always part of our family activities. We even had guitars along when we were camping. Yes, we actually did sing Kumbaya around the campfire with our cousins. Everybody had a lot of kids, so camping was a few adults and then a boat load of kids that were all different ages. Everybody got included in everything no matter what age. Those were fun times!

He and Mom raised us on a beef cattle farm by Pierz, Minnesota, in which they took great pride. My dad’s main job was driving truck for a road construction company and he drove everything from the large belly dump trucks to hauling heavy equipment. Many times he had to be gone during the week, living in our Winnebago travel trailer and coming home on weekends. So my Mom, a strong woman of German heritage, and we kids took care of the farm and cattle during the week. Beef cattle were fairly self sufficient in the summer. Towards the end of the week we would have made plans for our family adventures. We went camping, swimming and boating. Dad got a large truck tire inner tube at one point and blew it up and we took turns trying to stand on it while swimming in the local lakes. He was with us the whole time trying to stand on it too. We all took a lot of dunks in the lake before we mastered that.

When we were teens, my Dad bought a boat and a pair of water skis and we all learned it. Dad was first to try since it was his idea. He mastered it in no time and was skiing on one ski. We had a lot of fun with that boat in the 1970’s. He was always encouraging us to try new things and he always exuded complete confidence in our abilities. My mom was the same way and taught us to drive tractors and ride horses. She went along with all of our shenanigans.

We were the first in the neighborhood to buy snowmobiles, also in the 1970’s, and we used an old cover of a washer to pull behind the snowmobiles with a long rope like a snow saucer. I am surprised we survived that swinging around in crazy fashion through our snow covered farm fields. When our neighbors and cousins got snowmobiles we would have large get togethers in the woods and start a campfire, roast hot dogs and drive snowmobiles at night.

For big family adventures we planned vacations around farm work and Dad’s road work. I remember we went to Colorado in a long weekend by driving all night long. When we reached Greely, Colorado, there were lots of young people driving and walking along the roads for a concert in town. We experienced the beauty of Colorado and had great family time together.

There were very few things that my dad did not try and very few that he did not master. He and Mom were excellent dancers, and he taught me to polka with him too. My grandpa, his dad, spent a lot of time at our farm too. Grandpa and Dad built us a teeter-totter that not only went up and down, but also around. It was dangerous looking back at it, but it was really fun and no one got seriously hurt. They also built us a harness for our German Shepard dog. We hooked him up to the red wagon, with one of us sitting in the wagon and the others driving bikes in front of the wagon, and that dog would run like his tail was on fire down our long driveway giving the kid in the wagon the ride of their life. The dog loved it. When we brought out the harness he got all excited.

My dad is still an adventurous guy. Even though he is in his eighties, he likes to travel with their RV and go fishing and camping. He and Mom still attend fun community and church activities, go out to dinner, and play cards with friends. He is still as fun as ever and still finds friends no matter where he goes. He has taught us to be accepting of everyone, to explore the world, show kindness, be adventurous and not be fearful to try new things. Life is a gift.

Never Hike In Grizzly Country with Tuna Sandwiches

May 14, 2015May 21, 2015Leave a comment

My husband Joe and I have done a lot of hiking in our time and we really enjoy it. There is no better way to see an area , whether it be the Grand Canyon or the Cinque Terre in Italy. When hiking you feel as if you are part of the landscape and the nature around you. Hiking can give you an almost natural high, especially for those of us that work in office buildings most of the time. The senses are overwhelmed by the sites and smells.

Hiking takes good planning. We always have our backpacks and we have learned many things over the years of what is needed in those packs for the particular hike we are on. We have watched enough survival shows to know that even when you think you may be on a simple day hike, you still should have the ability to make fire, a jacket, and food and water. If you have those things you can survive long enough to be rescued in most situations.

I like to bring a light jacket no matter where I am. It can be used for the obvious changes in weather to cooler temps and can be used as a bug jacket. I also like to have my rain jacket, which works for rain or additional warmth to layer over the light jacket, or as a windbreaker. I always have a Swiss army type knife along. It has never been used for anything except slicing cheese, but of course, if we ever did run into trouble it could come in handy.

I bring water and usually have at least one water bottle that is frozen. It can keep your sandwiches cool all day and as it melts it provides cold water later in the afternoon, especially on those hikes in places like the Grand Canyon and Utah where it can get very hot later in the day. It also doubles as ice for injuries. Then we have our Gatorade and snacks, like nuts and dried fruits, and I like my vacation candy—Hot Tamales.

20060723_665 Now normally I make the sandwiches for our hikes and we pack the backpacks together in the morning. Most often I choose ham or bologna as the meat for the sandwiches because, while they are not the best for you, they do not spoil easily. I will admit it, I am paranoid about such things, probably because of taking microbiology as a nursing student.

My adventure buddy, Joe, and I were vacationing in Alaska and seeing the sites for our 25^th anniversary a few years back. We were there for two weeks and did a lot of fun things. On our first day at Denali National Park, we decided on a day long adventure and hike. In Denali no vehicles are allowed. They have buses traveling the Park roads on a regular schedule and you can get on and off as you like to hike or explore, and when ready, hop back on a bus as it comes along the dirt roads. Despite the buses, this is a very wild and remote area.

When we arrived in Alaska we had rented a car and were taking a driving vacation on a pre-planned route. Our first stop had been a Wal-Mart to get a cooler, some ice, bread, meat and groceries, chips, water, Gatorade and beer. We had picked up a few extra things including a can of tuna.

On the morning we decide to have our adventure in Denali, I saw the can of tuna and decided to make the tuna sandwiches for something different. I had my frozen water bottles to keep them cold and it was not so hot that we had to worry about the sandwiches spoiling. In my defense it was before 7 a.m. in the morning when I was packing the backpacks for the day’s adventure, and maybe was not fully awake yet. I packed the sandwiches and our usual other snacks and stuff to sustain us for a full day of fun in the wilderness. After all, we were not going to be anywhere near any restaurants or stores, we had to sustain ourselves. After we had everything packed, we were off with our maps of Denali, our GPS and a load of excitement and anticipation.

We boarded the bus at the Main Entrance with our adventure pants on and our cameras ready. Our excitement and anticipation was soon fulfilled. The bus rolled along the gravel roads, about half full of all types of visitors. The grandmas and grandpas who only rode the bus and never got off, the families on adventures together and the traveler who you would choose to have with you if you got lost or in trouble out there. You know the kind that look like they live off of cliff bars, have a bandana over unwashed hair, and look jacked like they could free climb a glacier with those muscles while helping drag you along. They were all there on their various adventures. Everyone filled with excitement.

The bus would stop every once in a while along the bumpy road to point out animals and give people a chance to take pictures. Most of the animals were a good distance from the bus, out in the meadows or on the mountainsides. Occasionally hikers got off the bus and others were picked up. There were no formal stops just people along the gravel road waiting for a ride. Our plan was to take the bus to the end of the road and hike the very back country of Denali. The bus ride with stops took about two hours. After about an hour of looking and photographing wildlife from the bus, including a wolf pack with pups, and multiple stops to see the grizzlies down in the valley, eating the blueberries, which were ripe during our July visit, and their cubs, looking so natural and cute from the bus windows.

A horrible thought came to me as the bus driver told us about salmon being the grizzlies favorite meal. Joe was startled as I grabbed his arm so hard I think I left a mark. I said, “I have tuna sandwiches in our backpacks. We will smell like tuna when we get out and hike.” I wanted to fling them out the window, but that would result in a huge littering fine. I was perfectly fine with going hungry, but the thought of having tuna on our backs was like ringing a dinner bell for the bears. It was like baiting the bears to come eat us. Joe always the calm one, just laughed and came up with a solution. Let’s just eat them now. Good idea I thought, until we were finished and I said, “Now we really smell like tuna.” Our breath, hands and everything at this point reeks of Tuna. This is such a bad idea. I was really concerned about whether we could go hiking safely in Grizzly country.

This is why I love traveling with Joe – nothing gets him worried. He reassured me that the hand sanitizer would take away the smell and that the grizzlies were more interested in the blueberries at this time of year and none of this is probably true, but he convinced me that Grizzlies in the wild don’t know the smell of tuna, and so they would not be that attracted to us. It was convincing enough, even though at the time I knew he was probably making it all up, to put my mind at ease so that we could enjoy our hike.

We got off the bus at the end of the Denali road at Wonder Lake as planned. It was the most remote area we have ever hiked, and as that bus pulled away and we stood there, just us, with our backpacks and adventure pants on, I have to admit that it was a little scary at first. But the awe inspiring beauty was breathtaking and worth the bravery it took to be there. Just standing and looking around at the lush green forests and the deep blue waters of Wonder Lake, in the shadow of Mt. McKinley rising above the valley, all of our worldly worries washed away with the sunlight.

There is no better way to reconnect with our purpose on this earth, than to enjoy its natural beauty and the mysteries around us. We often get caught up in our little work a day issues and forget our place in the universe and how short our time on this earth could be and is. We need to explore and reconnect with our natural places, to ground ourselves and re-connect and refresh our inner spirit. Be brave. Travel and experience new things and bring your adventure buddy—that person who reassures you that all will be fine and leads you to new adventures.

The Fishing Connection

May 7, 2015May 21, 2015Leave a comment

I have always loved fishing. One of my first dates with my husband of 28 years was fishing in a small lake that was stocked with Bass. It was like fishing in a barrel. I thought the guy was the best fisherman I had ever met. He told me years later that the lake was a private lake stocked with tons of Bass for non motorized fishing by the owner of the company he was working for at the time. He had special permission to fish it that day. He was clearly trying to impress me and it worked. We have been fishing together for 28 years and now that we are empty nesters we take our boat to Kabatogama for a week of big fishing adventures once a year. So far we have not become lost in the wilderness, which is a real possibility up there, and we have some gorgeous pictures and some very fond memories of driving our boat to the historic Kettle Falls Hotel. It is a fun way to spend time together.

Everyone in the family, including my parents who are now in their Eighties, take part in the fishing opener each year. Our family scrambles around for months before fishing opener, deciding where we are going and guessing about the weather. The anticipation and planning are all part of the fun. We don’t all go to the same place every year, but some of us get together depending on who is available. No matter where everyone is fishing, we all have our cell phones and we send pictures back and forth of our catches. We call it the brag line.

I remember one opener that we spent with my parents and my kids at my brother John’s lake home near St. Cloud. The weather that year was less than ideal, with rain, sleet and snow. We dressed as we would for ice fishing, but we never caught so many fish. We had multiple boats on the water, and my kids and I were on my brother’s pontoon, which we fondly call the party barge. I think it is one of the biggest pontoons that they make and it even has a bathroom on board. It is perfect for taking the kids along. My brother has always had the patience of a saint, so he hung in there with my kids who managed to take turns repeatedly tangling their lines.

Despite the tangled lines and bathroom breaks, we all caught fish that year. My brother barely got his line in the water when one of us would be yelling that we had a fish on and he had to get the net. It was a hell of a fishing opener. When we got back to shore, and before any staking of the fish, there had to be group pictures holding our catches and also comparing to see who caught the biggest or the longest, or the smallest. We have a lot of fish pictures, because we take pictures of them no matter the size or the kind.

I remember another year where my mom and dad, and my husband Joe and I were in the same boat on the opener. The fish were not biting at all that year, but we had beautiful weather and we had a lot of good conversation. As we talked and trolled around the lake in the sunshine, my mom went to cast her line out and accidentally threw her entire rod over board. We all saw it, but it took a minute to register what she had done and to take any action. By the time we got the dip net to try to retrieve it, we were all laughing so hard; it had sunk like a rock, so there was no hope. It took my mom a while to laugh about it. She was in shock and kept saying she just didn’t know how that happened. The more she tried to explain it, the funnier it got. We still talk about it to this day and tease her about throwing her rod away, just because the fish were not biting.

Many people talk about fishing stories, but it is because of the crazy things that happen in boats while fishing. You cannot make this stuff up. We were fishing Green Lake with my parents just a few years ago and my Dad caught a really large Northern. We put it into the live well, even though it barely fit. The live well aerator stopped running, because the fish was up against it. My dad went to open the live well to fix the aerator and that Northern jumped clean out of the live well in the back of the boat and into the lake. It was gone. That is one that if I had not seen it myself, I would have said they were making it up. I wish I would have had a camera in hand. The look on my dad’s face was worth a thousand words. I have never seen him so stunned. We were all speechless for a second and than started laughing and said it was good he jumped out because he was clearly part dolphin anyway.

We have so many fond memories of fishing excursions. One thing has become clear over the years. Fishing has little to do with the actual fish that we catch. One year my sister in law and I both caught carp and proudly took photos of those ugly things. Fishing has more to do with spending time with parents, grandparents and kids, in the sunshine or the sleet, on the water and more importantly together. Those moments with others which leave us with a lifetime of memories of happy moments and funny stories and time spent with family. Fishing has been one of those things that helped bring us all together in a shared life. It brought Joe and me together so long ago, as a couple and it brought us close to our kids over the years and our kids with their grandparents and uncles and aunts. The fishing connection is one of family and fun and most importantly time spent together. It cannot be overrated.

Adventure is in the Genes

May 6, 2015May 6, 2015Leave a comment

I came to the conclusion that we all get our spirit of adventure in an honest way. My parents, who are now in their eighties and have been married for over 60 years, were putting on their adventure pants long before REI invented them. They were married in their early twenties and started off their life together with a three week driving adventure to Yellowstone, the Canadian Rockies, and Colorado. They made a big loop, taking their time and traveling in a mint green Buick. They have awesome pictures to remember the event and I have attached some of them.

They looked so Fifties, with my Mom’s rolled up jeans and Dad looked like James Dean. Extremely handsome and more importantly, they were both fun and adventurous. My Mom always said that they each gained 20 lbs (exaggeration also runs in the family) from eating so many potato chips and malts while on vacation.

They have never shied away from adventure and in fact embraced the unknown and unexpected when traveling. Mom and Dad have been to every state and most of them more than once over the years. They have been to China, Japan and rented an RV and took a driving trip around Australia. They took a cruise through the Panama Canal and drove the road to Hana in Hawaii. Even though they were farmers from Pierz, their world was very large. They are still active getting together with friends and going fishing and traveling with their RV. They just don’t go as far anymore.

Their lust to see the world goes way back. In 1947, Dad and his only brother and parents traveled out West through the mountains in a 1942 Plymouth. He did most of the driving, his brother read the maps and did the navigation, and his parents sat in the back seat – even though he was only 16 years old at the time and the mountain roads were gravel and narrow. You could not have paid me enough to sit in the back seat of a car while any of my 16 year olds had control of the car on Mountain roads. My grandparents had complete confidence in my dad and his abilities, and he lived up to their expectations.

He bragged when we were young that he got his driver’s license from the Postmaster in town when he was 12. The only test was the Postmaster asking him, if he could drive and he said “yes” and so he was given a license.

My grandparents also traveled a lot. When I was growing up they took driving vacations every year and sometimes flew to their destinations. They went to Florida and brought us back a letter holder that had flamingos on it and sea shells. My parents still have that letter holder. They also brought us a sea shell that they taught us to hold to our ear to hear the Ocean. I still have that sea shell.

My grandparents and parents gave us a gift. They showed us that travel is fun, that the world is a big and beautiful place and they taught us not to fear the unknown, but to embrace it. They taught us to use our time on this earth wisely and to never waste an opportunity to enjoy our time off. As simple as the lesson seems, so many struggle and worry about work more than it deserves. The work will get done. We are not here to work our lives away. Time is your most valuable commodity. Take control of your time and seize the moment to enjoy your life!

Not Real Adults

May 3, 2015January 21, 20161 Comment

Our family adventures gave our kids the self reliance to go on their own adventures as they became adults. When our youngest, Jenny, graduated from High School she was 18 years old and my son, Ben was already in college and was 20. The two of them and one of Ben’s friends, who had been at our house on and off for years, came to us with a plan for an adventure of their own. They wanted to take a two week driving trip to Glacier National Park, Idaho, and back through Montana and Colorado. They borrowed our Tahoe and took the GPS and mapped their route, through the national Parks and federal campgrounds and all of the sites they wanted to see. Ben was studying geology and he knew specific areas he wanted to cover. They took the cooler and did mostly camping, but occasionally stayed at a hotel for showers and better beds. They made plans for the amount of money they needed and packed everything up and off they went. They stayed in contact, so we knew they were doing well and they posted pictures frequently on Face book and Instagram, of the gorgeous campsites, mountains and streams they were seeing. They actually planned ahead and took organic shampoo and they cooked over the campfire. As parents it was a little scary, but we knew they had the skills to handle the adventure and we were proud that they had the self confidence and drive to plan and go on this adventure. Everything went well and they returned with great stories and we could tell that they had bonded and seemed even closer than before they had shared this special adventure. After they had returned, I happened to be at a neighbor’s garage sale. She had a son Jenny’s age. He was at the sale hanging out with some other friends. He asked how Jenny was doing and I said that she had just gotten back from their adventurous driving vacation out west with her brother and his friend. He was really animated and excited and said that he had seen Jenny and Ben’s pictures on Instagram and mentioned one particular one with their orange tent in the foreground and the mountains in the back. I told him they had come back with some great stories about how they had gotten lost at one time, but Jenny then found their way out of that situation by navigating, and how they had met one guy in the campground who had taught them to bake bread in a Dutch oven over a campfire. The young guy’s mother was overhearing our conversation and asked me with a look of disbelief. She said, “They went by themselves?” I told her “yes,” and repeated the details, “my son who is 20, his friend who is also 20 and Jenny who was 18.” She repeated in disbelief again, “but by themselves? I said “yes.” “With no adults?” she said. I said “No, they are all adults. Jenny is 18 and the other two are 20.” She looked at me and said insistently and in a firm tone with her forehead furrowed, “No I mean real adults.” I responded, a little confused and in a slow way, “They are real adults. “ She walked away shaking her head. Now don’t get me wrong, I don’t tell this story tocriticize her as a Mom. God knows raising kids is not an easy job, we all make mistakes and there is no perfect way. But what struck me is that we try so hard to protect our children sometimes that we lose track of the reality of their age. In fact her son was also 18 and even though she felt he was not a “real” enough adult to be trusted to go on a road trip to some National Parks in the western United States, in fact he was adult enough to walk to a local recruiting office, join the military and be surviving in the deserts of the middle east and, all of that could be done without her permission. The one thing I have learned in hindsight is that our kids at every age would always live up to our expectations. When we showed confidence in their abilities, they had confidence in their own abilities and could be successful. We taught them early on that mistakes were OK and trying new things was essential, for a fun and full life.

Put Your Adventure Pants On

April 30, 2015March 18, 2015Leave a comment

A perfectly clean house has never been a priority for me, so I was not surprised when I went to move my bedroom dresser to retrieve a dropped necklace and found it face up, in a snow pile of dust bunnies. Some bunnies were so large that one could imagine spending time in a craft project, gluing eyes on them to look like real bunnies. Creepy for sure, but they were that large.

This would be embarrassing for many who pride themselves on their house cleaning skills and while I would never want a dirty house, a little dust here and there has not bothered me, especially when our kids were home. I would rather go walk in the woods with them and pick up fall leaves for an art project or play with the hose or in the sand box than clean house. That was true when they were older too. I would spend time with them outdoors or we would take them biking or playing sports. Even now that we are empty nesters, I would rather go on the boat or hiking or biking than clean house. I have no remorse about those choices.

While cleaning the mound of dust bunnies uncovered by my jewelry mishap, I found all kinds of other interesting things lost in the abyss of the dresser caverns. Other jewelry pieces that were never missed enough to do a full scale search and a stray button, but to my surprise, among the lost items was a photo of me standing on a Glacier in Canada.

It was taken in 1995 when I was in my mid-thirties and I am holding my baby, Jenny who was less than a year old in the picture, but is now a college student and beside me stands my Ben, who was two years old and now is also a college student and my oldest, Sara who is five in the picture and is now out of college and in the working world, making a life of her own. It was striking and it transported me back in time. I have a smile from ear to ear and we all look happy, having just exited the large glacier snow bus onto the Athabasca Glacier in the Columbia Ice fields, during a two week driving vacation we had taken to Canada in our Ford Aerostar van.

I know the word fearless is getting a little too much use these days, but it is a good word and it described what I saw in the picture. The photo was a proud reminder of our fearlessness to adventure out even with three little kids. And I have to say, I have nothing but good memories of those trips. We must have had fussy kids sometimes, but that is not what I remember and when our grown kids talk about their vacations they do not remember anything negative about them either.

I remember the trip went well. We planned ahead on these adventures, but our plan was never so rigid that we could not fly by the seat of our pants sometimes, and we could adapt to unforeseen changes in weather or unplanned events. On this particular adventure we did a large loop through Canada and saw everything from the dolphin show at the Edmonton Mall to the glaciers and mountains in the Canadian Rockies. We had three little kids, but no worries. We made our way, day after day experiencing new sights and foods and we laughed and we had fun. We would go with the flow and eat when we were hungry and sleep when tired. We played in Hotel pools and ordered Pizza.

The saying in our family since the kids were very young is “Put your adventure pants on and let’s go!” We have been on many adventures with our family and now as empty nesters, my husband and I have sought many new adventures. Our kids are not afraid to go on their own adventures through college or with friends and I like that fearlessness in them when it comes to travel.

I look into the face of that young woman, 35ish version of me and those little kids, smiling and knowing Dad is behind the camera smiling too and I see happiness and see a family who was never afraid to put their adventure pants on. I look back and I wonder how we had the guts and the brains to make those choices. I cannot explain it because I think we are very average in many ways, but I am sure glad we did it. Life is short and I know it is said too often, but those child-rearing years flew by and those kids are now gone. I am glad I spent little time worrying about dust bunnies and cleaning, and took the time to enjoy those kids and show them the world with our adventure pants on.

Fun Living

Stories by Joan Quade