Sister Love

October 8, 20151 Comment

I come from a family of five children raised in the 1960’s and 70’s. I am in the exact middle of
the five, with an older sister and brother and two younger brothers. My
only sister, Kathy is the oldest in the family and we are three years apart. We are alike in as many ways as we are different, but we are sisters and that means something, including that we were each other’s first girlfriends and we learned about life, fashion, relationships, boys, and dreams from each other and we always had a closeness that only sisters would understand.

We were each other’s first sleep over buddies as we shared a room while growing up, and we shared clothes and learned how to get along and how to treat others. We played Barbies, house, dress up and we did each other’s hair. We almost always got along, other than one fight that involved kicking each others bikes and some hair pulling. We learned very early from each other, that we did not like fighting and of course we were given a penalty by our mother of picking all of the strawberries in the strawberry patch for our misbehavior, which was a hateful job. My mother was very clever, because having to do the hateful job together for hours, brought us closer together. By the end, we were laughing and throwing strawberries at each other, all in good fun and so we would have less to clean.

As we got into high school and college, we shared clothes and I visited her on campus, and we even went on a double date. We confided in one another and we sought advice on everything from our college plans, to guys and dating. She would come home on weekends from her college and we knew some of the local guys. Don’t tell our mother, but a common activity was parking in the gravel pits. I went with a date one time when Kathy was home. We had been at the bars, her with her friends and me with mine and we each knew the other was out. It was common after the bars closed to continue the party at the gravel pits. It was more of a party place than a place to be alone with a date. When we would get to the gravel pits there were other cars and it became a social event talking with others. My date pulled up to another car to talk to his buddy before we joined the bonfire going on at the pits. I leaned over to see who his buddy was with and it was Kathy. We both laughed and did not say a word, of course until we got home and then we had a good laugh. True story, so don’t deny it Kathy!!

Kathy married a really nice guy and moved to Ortonville, and I moved to the cities after college.
Even though it was hard and even though sometimes we went weeks without contact, we managed even when we were busy raising kids and building our careers to stay close. We called each other when we needed to, but even when we did not have contact for periods of time, we knew the other was there for us anytime we needed a confidant or just someone to listen. We still relied upon each other for that sisterly advice and to gain support or an honest opinion.

After being a nurse for a few years, I decided to take the LSAT and go to law school, and Kathy was the first person in my family that I told. I told her first to have a respected opinion before I told my parents. I think I needed reassurance that I was not crazy to pursue this career especially since I was entering law school, having never even met an attorney. It was a way to test to see if she thought the idea was crazy. She did not know it at the time, but my career and future may have depended in part on her reaction. I respected her opinion and wanted some input from someone who knew me the best of anyone in the world. 140220 859 Had she said anything to make me think I was out of my mind to think I wanted to go to law
school, I may have rethought the idea. In true sister fashion, she was one hundred percent supportive. She started with “If that is what you want, you go for it.” And she was supportive in telling me she believed in my ability to handle the challenge. She always knew what to say and she knew how to be supportive.

As we have aged, we have grown even closer. We have called each other with worries about our kids or now with our parents, and we provide each other that listening ear and advice. We are now both empty nesters, and Kathy has an early retirement as a teacher. This gives her more time to come visit and plan for our sister fun. In the last few years we have become concert buddies, going to Billy Joel, the Eagles, Madonna and Fleetwood Mac. She usually buys the tickets online, as she is good at watching and buying at just the right time to get the good seats, and then comes to my house to stay and we get dressed up and make an event of it. It is so much fun, we take selfies and post on Facebook, and we dance and clap to music that was popular when we were in college. We reminisce about our college days and we catch up on our lives and our kid’s lives.

We have also gotten together at the lake house for a little sister bonding time. We went paddle boarding, kayaking and biking. It is so nice having a sister who enjoys the same things I enjoy, and it is different being with a sister than a friend. Friends are great, but a sister is special. A sister will support and encourage you even if your dreams may be far fetched, but a sister will also be brutally honest if that dress makes you look like a grandma, in a bad way.

Kathy has worked really hard to be in top physical shape. She is an inspiration with her competitive running and daily bike rides. I need to emulate that more, as I sit behind a desk too much of the time. I had a great bike ride with her a few weeks ago. I had always poked fun at bike riders who wear lycra. I do trail rides and while I can ride easily for 25 miles and have done 50 miles many times, I had taken pride in the fact that I do not wear lycra.

On this particular ride with Kathy, she broke out the riding shorts with the gel padded seat and put them on for our anticipated 25 mile ride. I laughed, because that is what sisters do and she told me in that big sister voice that she brought a pair for me to try. I said I was not wearing those, because they make my butt look big. She said, in a very matter of fact way, “What do you care, you’re not for sale anyway.” (Referring to the fact that I am married and have been for almost 30 years). A good point and one I had not really thought about. “Besides…” she said, “who sees you on the bike trail anyway?” Another very good point. She was always the smarter of the two of us. She was so right, but I have to say I was hesitant at the utility of the shorts in relationship to the butt magnitude. Well it only took a few miles to appreciate what I have been missing for years. The bike shorts were awesome and it not only made the ride better and smoother, but I could go a lot more miles without discomfort. I admitted to her that she was once again right, and then in true sisterly fashion, she had not only convinced me that the shorts were awesome, she took that extra step to buy me some on her way back home through St. Cloud and mail them to me. That is a sister!!

I have always been close to my family. I have wonderful brothers and have great parents. I am lucky to have close friends and to have stayed close to many of my cousins and extended family, but a bond with your sister is like no other. I have only one sister and maybe that affects my perspective, but a sister is unique. The bond between sisters is not like any other. We do not need to talk to each other every day or even every week, but we know the other is always there and would drop everything we are doing if the other needed help. We share experiences together and enjoy each other’s company. We confide in each other and look to the other for advice, comfort and sometimes just to listen. I have been lucky to have a sister in my life and to share the sister love!

A View From The Sky

October 1, 2015Leave a comment

When I first started dating my husband Joe, some 32 years ago, he had always said that he was afraid of heights. Afraid maybe is too strong a word. He would say things like I don’t like heights and I am not comfortable with heights. Heights make him woozy or dizzy. After almost 30 years of marriage I can say he was mistaken and I have the pictures to prove it.

In 1986 we went to Hawaii on our honeymoon, and even though he was defining himself as uncomfortable with heights, he agreed to go on a helicopter ride over the mountains of Kauai. The helicopter swooped and dived through the mountains, over edges, and waterfalls. He hung on and so did I, but we saw some of the most beautiful scenery on the garden island that was only visible from the air. The lush green mountains grew as cliffs out of the Pacific Ocean. We could see the waves crashing onto the shores below as we flew low and fast, the pilot deliberately turning the helicopter onto its side to give us the perfect view and a brag worthy ride. He gave us just the right amount of comfort in the craft, and his skills, offering high speed
turns and dips gave an exciting feeling of danger. He was
a good tour guide.

We wore our little headsets to listen as he gave us the name of each waterfall and bay. He pointed out all of the tour highlights and we were able to ask him questions about the landscape. I had never been on a helicopter before and had the same uncomfortable feeling about it before we started, but it quickly became a favorite experience for both of us.

On that same trip I told him I was a little afraid to go snorkeling way out in the ocean. He had been to Hawaii before and he reassured me on the boat to the snorkel site that I would love it and it was perfectly safe, even though the boat tour guide indicated that the snorkelers sometimes see sharks. The guide even gave us directions on what to do if we saw any large sharks, so I was a little nervous as we hit the water. We descended the stairs of the large tour Catamaran right into the water with our masks on and ready, but as I got in I accidentally got some sea water in my mouth, and as if surprised, I started breathing shallow and quick. He turned to me and said in a really calm, but questioning voice, “What are you doing? Put your snorkel in.” It snapped me right out of it and I laughed and put the snorkel in and he grabbed my hand and we were snorkeling. We saw fish of all colors, but no sharks. I was in love with a new sport. I went on over the years to snorkel all over with Joe, including Cozumel, Mexico, the Florida Keys and Costa Rica, and about 10 years ago I even became a certified Scuba Diver.

A few years after Hawaii, Joe and I went on a helicopter ride down into the Grand Canyon. The helicopter took us over Hoover Dam and over the edge of the canyon. It had the same great mix of beauty, danger and a comfort in the pilot’s skills, as our Hawaii experience did years earlier. We took off from Las Vegas where Joe was attending a conference. Flying over the Vegas strip was a part of the tour that was surprisingly interesting. I am usually only interested in the nature and natural beauty, but looking at the Vegas strip from above, with the many people walking the streets from casino to casino was surprisingly cool. It looked like a colorful river moving in unison along the sidewalks. Of course the canyon was the best.

After we had swooped in and out of the Grand Canyon, seeing some of the best highlights, we landed on a plateau about halfway down where we had a champagne brunch. It was amazing. Those red rocky deep cliffs and the sparse vegetation were adv01 beautiful. I have hiked the Grand Canyon but, there was no better way to see a lot of the most famous parts of the Canyon in a small amount of time than to fly over it and get that bird’s eye view.

We have done a lot of things involving uncomfortable heights and things that took us out of our comfort zone. On our European vacation for our twenty fifth anniversary, we took the steep railroad up to the top of the mountain in Innsbruck, Austria. It was the railroad used during the Olympics. We also took the railroad to the top of Pikes Peak in Colorado when we were on our intergenerational trip with my parents and our kids. Both took us to great heights and gave us that bird’s eye view that almost makes a person light headed. It was fabulous.

In 2014 we went to Costa Rica and we zip lined in the rain forest canopy. Our platforms were so tall, they had to build onto the large trees because they were too tall to be braced to the ground below. That was exciting and a little scary, but we were bound and determined to give that a try and we both agreed we would do that again.

We have made it a point not to let small adv03 fears define us. If Joe and I would have always taken the safe route and not done things that made us uncomfortable we would have missed out on a lot of very exhilarating experiences. We decided long
ago not to let our fears define or limit us, and we have been good in encouraging each other even when our gut feeling may not agree.

They say you should go with your gut, but that old adage is wrong when it comes to travel and adventure. Your gut many times tells you to be afraid and cautious, but if you never did anything that was a little scary and out of your comfort zone, you would never have that exhilarating feeling of flying sideways over a waterfall on Kauai, getting a bird’s eye view of the Grand Canyon or tasting the salty ocean water and watching for sharks.

Crazy Fun Cousins

September 24, 2015Leave a comment

I grew up in Buckman, Minnesota in the sixties and seventies, surrounded by great grandparents, grandparents, uncles, aunts and all kinds of cousins. The Buckman/Pierz area was settled by German Catholic farmers. It was a great place to grow up. Our farm was just outside of Buckman. My dad had grown up in Buckman and my mom in Pierz. My dad’s parents lived about a mile away across the fields, and my mother’s family lived a few miles away just south and east of Pierz.

My great grandparents settled in the area when they came from Austria and Germany with their families in the late 1800’s. It was, and still is, a tight knit community where everyone knows everyone else and they socialize mainly through church activities and hunting, fishing and farming interests. We were always surrounded by extended family. If anyone got married or died everyone attended. We went to every church Bazaar and our family social life was mainly visiting and hanging out with relatives.

My dad had only one brother, who was a priest, but he had a cousin, Ray in the area who was like a brother and his kids were close in age and we played with them a lot over the years. My mom was the oldest of a family of six and her dad was from a family of six, and her mom was from a family of ten, so there were a lot of cousins and second cousins and great aunts and uncles and so on. Family reunions were a blast!

My mom had two sisters who were close to her age. In her family they had three girls and then three boys. One of her sister’s, Marilyn, settled in Buckman about two miles away from our farm and the other, Corrine, settled just east of Pierz. Marilyn had seven children, Corrine had five and we had five. The kids spanned in age over about a 15 year or more period, but we usually all played together. We were very good at being inclusive rather than exclusive. As one of the older ones, I remember having big family get togethers and I would almost always be carrying a baby or watching after a younger child. I usually had a little one on my lap and it usually was not my younger brother, but a young cousin.

Everyone got along really well or at least after all of these years, I don’t remember any real conflict. I do remember that we stuck together on our outdoor adventures and we watched out for each other and the little ones. Back then our parents did not hover. We were left to run around the farm and play without any supervision. The parents played cards or visited and they expected us to get along, play nice, and not do anything dangerous. We knew the expectations and most often followed the rules.

We sometimes went to parks together and sometimes just got together at each other’s farm or Grandma’s farm. We played ball in the summer and had just enough kids to make it work for fielding. The pitcher and everyone moved in when a little kid went to bat and pitched it slow and we older kids pretended not to catch the ball, so they could run some bases. We went ice skating and built snow forts in the winter, and we sometimes stayed in and played board games like Clue, Operation, Monopoly and Life. We
played in the hay barns and the corn fields and we climbed trees and we rode bikes. We were outdoor kids.

When we got thirsty and hungry we sometimes snuck into the house and one kid took potatoes chips and another took a bottle or two of pop and we went out to the barn and shared our loot. Sometimes we also took the Ketchup from the refrigerator and used it as dip. Once in a while we took a package of Jell-O and shared the powder out of the box. It was exactly like the old time candy called Pixie sticks. I think that may still be around. Had we asked for the treats, I am sure our parents would have given them to us and I am sure they knew we were taking them, but sneaking in to take them was a lot more fun and adventurous.

My aunt Marilyn lived closest to us. She originally had an old farm house that was two stories and we loved playing there. When we were young I remember we had Pop It bead fights. Pop it beads were plastic, hand-size beads that connected together to make things. It was really a baby toy but we used them as grenades for Pop It bead fights. If you grew up in the fifties and sixties you have seen them. I am not so sure they still make those, but I still have some that I found for my kids and I kept them because of my fond memories of sitting behind furniture in teams and having a pile of Pop It beads next to us, and throwing them at each other in a Pop It bead war of sorts. This sounds strange, but I have vivid memories of playing that in my aunt’s farm house. I also remember doing Light Bright with my cousins, and then turning off the lights to admire our creation. They also had one of the coolest doll houses. It was made of metal and had rugs and wall paper painted onto the metal. We had doll furniture and dolls to arrange in the dollhouse, and surprisingly that kept us busy for hours in the upstairs play area. Marilyn had the seven children and she had a really fun and loud house. We liked going there.

My aunt Corrine also lived in a two story farm house, but outside of Pierz, so it was a little 84a farther away. They had a horse before any of us, so that was our first opportunity to become comfortable around horses. She had a fun farm with rolling hills and dairy cows. I distinctly remember being upstairs at Corrine’s house playing with multiple cousins and playing on the bed, which of course got carried away into jumping on the bed and one of us jumped too high and hit the light fixture and broke it and the light bulb. It made a crash to be
sure and we all became very silent waiting for the yell from the parents who were playing cards on the main level. It took no time at all for one of the parents to be yelling what was going on up there and of course we gave the standard answer of, “Nothing, the light just broke on its own.”

The parents had their standard laugh and exchanges of those statements of those darn kids and then the standard reply was to tell us to settle down and behave. We played a lot in their hay barn and in the outbuildings which were full of cool old farm stuff. Corrine had an apple tree and was an excellent cook and baker. She was the best! We looked forward to her dinners and her apple pie.

We played and got together at our farm too. We had endless fields and beef cows and lots of outbuildings including a storage shed we referred to as the shendy. We played a game over the top of the shendy called Annie Annie Over where you had teams on each side and the ball was thrown over the top of the shendy. If the team on the other side caught it, they all came running over to the other side to tag out the other team. If we got tired of games we thought of other shenanigans. We climbed in the barns and the silo. Once at our farm we convinced my cousin Karen to climb a knotted tree of ours that was not very high and then to jump down into a large blanket being held around the sides like we had seen firefighters do on TV. There were about ten kids holding around the edge of the blanket, but that blanket never even slowed her down. She hit the ground with a thud. Luckily she had jumped feet first and only had a sprained ankle. Sometimes we tried things we should not have. We played a lot of Kick the Can at our farm and hid in the corn fields around the house. We swung in the barns and we made hay forts. It was a nice place to grow up.

We played at Ray’s farm too. Our cousins there were also close in age and his farm was the most fun. He had chickens of all colors, geese, and turkeys wandering lose in the yard. You could hunt for eggs and play in the corn cribs. Ray’s farmyard was, and still is, full of beautiful flowers. 24e

Some of our cousins were almost as close as siblings and even though some of us have left the Buckman/ Pierz area, and are scattered around Minnesota, we remain close. Some of us still go camping together and get together for dinners, parties and family events. We still see each other at funerals and weddings. We make time for family, because family is important.

Our parents and aunts and uncles taught us to be good people and to value family. They taught us to let everybody play, to be fair and to be nice to the younger, weaker kids. Nothing else would have been tolerated. They taught us to be gracious winners and good losers. They taught us to be polite, respectful and helpful. They taught us that it is OK to explore, but they also taught us to watch out for each other. These were all great life lessons that are just as important today in our workplaces, in our homes, schools and in our neighborhoods as well as just the right way to live our lives. The world would be a beautiful place if everyone lived by the rules we learned with our cousins. We may not be able to change the entire world, but we can do our best to live by these rules in our daily lives and hopefully set an example for others. Living by these simple rules not only is the right thing to do, but it makes our little part of the world a better place for all.

Chi Centering & Wine

September 17, 2015Leave a comment

Centering your Chi is a real thing! I heard about it years ago. I like to try all new things fun, like yoga, and I like the concept of meditation, but I have not been blessed with the ability to sit that long. So when I heard about how to take steps to center your Chi I wanted to give that a try.

Centering, as I understand it, means balancing your life force. You attempt to keep your internal self in balance and harmony. If you are in balance and harmony you are positive, patient, you treat others and yourself with care and kindness. You reject pessimism, stress anxiety and negativism. You can center your Chi in many ways including through meditation and yoga.

I have written about my five girl friends from law school before. We have a lot of stories together. We graduated in 1987 and we have stayed in touch all of these years, and kept up with our girls weekends together. One of our friends lives in Arizona, not far from Sedona, so we decided to take a trip to Sedona.

My attraction to it was the advertising that it was known as a spiritual power center because of the Vortexes of Subtle Energy located in the area. It is the place to center one’s Chi. You can actually get maps of where the energy vortexes are located and while I find these things funny, I am more than willing to give it a try and hike to the vortex to see if I can feel its energy and center my Chi. The whole concept was fun. It gave us all something to talk about even if we were all skeptical. However, we all like to hike and we like to hike and eat good food and drink good wine, and Sedona had all of those things, and as a bonus it is a gorgeous area of Arizona with dark red soils, hot weather and crisp cool streams.

We started talking and planning and everyone was in. I saw one ad for Sedona that actually said, “Come to learn how to manifest the soul’s purpose and heart’s desires while releasing resistance to loving your soul’s mission.” Who could resist that promise? As lawyers we like words and those are good words. We met at our friend’s house in Fountain Hills and drove to Sedona. We had a beautiful hotel, and as much as we loved the descriptions of Arizona online, Sedona was even better than promised. Its lush greenery and dark red mountains and soil covered in desert greenery made it one of the most beautiful places I have ever seen.

These girlfriends are very special to me. We have remained friends for so long because they are all very positive, fun people. I love them. Even though most of them have learned to live a balanced life, they are also the kind that are open to try new things and to go along on a good hike. So we went on our hike, and we had a map showing where the energy Vortexes were located in the Sedona hills, and we used our best abilities to imagined absorbing the energy of the vortex as we soaked up the Arizona sun and breathed the fresh fragrant air. Being the good sports that they are, we stopped at each vortex and raised our arms toward the sky like a sun salutation. I don’t know if it was in fact an energy vortex, but I was on the hillside on one of the most beautiful places in our country, with some of the best women I know and that was an energy boosting experience, no matter how you looked at it.

We spent a long weekend together and hiked different trails each day and caught up on each others’ kids, family and work. In the evenings we continued to talk and would share good food and even better wine. We went on a pink jeep tour through the hills and went to the spa for massages. Each time we heard about a new trail or a cleansing stream in the foothills we hiked and checked it out. We heard about a cleansing healing stream from the locals. Keep in mind the locals are some of the most interesting people you will ever meet. There are multiple palm reading shops and places to buy crystals and have your auras read or participate in rain drop therapy. This was a fun and interesting place with fun people. It is a low stress, high tolerance and accepting of all type group. We could all learn a thing or two from them.

To get to the healing stream required a bit of a hike, but was well worth it. We hiked for about an hour in the hot sun, but when we got to the stream it was ice cold. We entered together and refreshed ourselves. I could see why they called them healing. To enter the cold refreshing waters after being in the hot sun did feel as if it had special rejuvenating powers. We spent time together sitting in the warm sands and walking in the healing waters. I cannot say whether the stream had healing powers, but I can say that my weekends with the girls are healing. We spent some quality time together as we always do and shared our deepest thoughts, worries, hopes and dreams. Our weekends together are cathartic and healing in the most basic sense of the word. We come back better. We come back stronger.

Balancing your life and centering your Chi may be a process that many strive to define and perfect. For me balancing is spending time with the people who I care about deeply. They are my family, my friends and those people who make me better and who look positively upon life. For me it also means spending more time in nature than in an office. It is using your vacation time wisely. Time is our most precious commodity. Use it wisely with the right people and be in the places that heal your soul. Spend time in beautiful places, drink rum and good wine and eat good food, but remember to share it with the people who accept you, empower you, and support you and those who make your life better.

Try Anything Once

September 10, 2015September 9, 2015Leave a comment

Anyone who follows my writing and knows me well knows that I am more of an outdoor girl than an indoor girl, and I have never been known for my sophistication. I like to keep it real and simple, and I have no problem embracing and loving my farming roots. Even though I would rather be at an Eagles or Fleetwood Mac concert, I actually like a lot of different kinds of music.

When I was in college in Duluth at St. Scholastica, in the late 1970’s, we were required to take a class or community education item that had nothing to do with our major. It had to be approved, but the number and variety of choices were very great. The school really pushed us to have a well rounded education. It was a really good school. In my very first year of college, I selected season tickets to the Duluth Symphony Orchestra of all things. As I say, you need to try everything at least once and even at that age I knew it was more fun to get out of my comfort zone and try new things than to embrace the same old things.

I was in the nursing program and loved my science classes including the anatomy and physiology courses that came with the mandatory cadaver lab. I actually liked cadaver lab. I grew up on a farm, so life and death were a part of our existence, and being from a small Catholic community, everyone attended every wake and funeral that occurred. The wakes always involved open caskets with viewing of the body and the kids came along to the wakes from an early age. I was not bothered by a dead human and found the study of human anatomy fascinating.

So when it came time to pick a class unrelated to my major out in the community, I chose the symphony, something that had nothing to do with science or memorizing the parts of the body, and something we did not listen to on the farm. It was not expensive thanks to a relationship between the symphony and the college. Two other friends signed up with me and surprisingly we enjoyed it a lot more than we expected. We had talked beforehand and decided it may be quite boring, and as tired as we were from studying anatomy until all hours of the night, we would probably fall asleep. However, that was not a problem at all. We never fell asleep. We actually really looked forward to it after a while.
There was a monthly concert and I was excited for it. We dressed up and went to dinner before hand and it got to be a real event. It was so different than what I had done in the past. We were listening to Aerosmith and Bob Seger and we went to rock concerts. The symphony music was so much better than I thought it would be. I was really surprised how emotional the music felt. It could make you move in your chair or it could make you feel nervous or excited or be completely relaxed where your mind could wonder. It was surprising. I am glad the school required us to expand our education and interests; otherwise I never would have bought tickets to the Duluth Symphony on my own. I would have gotten too busy with the tasks for my classes and what must be accomplished; unless forced to do this required education I would not have had that wonderful experience.

It was more than 30 years ago, but the educational affects of trying new things still lingered. A couple of years ago I heard one of my law partners talking about his daughter who is an opera singer. She had the lead in the Romeo and Juliette opera at the Ordway in St. Paul. I was really excited about that. I had never been to the opera and my first reaction was that I don’t like opera. But I caught myself. How could I dismiss it so easily as something I don’t like, if I have never been to one, and this would be extra special because we kind of knew someone in it or at least we knew her mother and father, and we knew they were really nice people. We had heard about their daughter Elli, and how she lived in New York and she was a sought after opera star in Europe and the U.S. We had also seen pictures and she was a beautiful girl. I was definitely in.

I knew I could count on Joe because he is always a good sport about trying new things, but I wanted to make it a real event and why not pass on that Scholastica philosophy of trying new things? I asked my kids if they would go and I explained who Elli was and that we would have to dress up. They were all in. They had never been before, but they always took the opportunity to do something new as well.

I invited my parents too. I knew they would be up for something new, exciting and different. They were farmers from Buckman, but they were well traveled having been to Australia and all over Asia, and of course all over the U.S. This made it even more special because now there were three generations of us all dressed up and going to the opera, all of us for the first time. It was interesting because we had all been camping, traveling, boating and fishing together for years, but never the opera. Not all three generations. I was so proud of all of them, kids and parents alike, for being so adventurous and willing to try something new and so upbeat. I love this crowd. They are never a bunch of complainers or whiners, and they try to always be positive. My parents and my kids are all a lot alike. They are fun to be around, because they are all adventurous, fun and positive people.

We dressed up at my house so even the getting ready was an event. We went to dinner first and then the opera. Joe dropped us off at the door like dignitaries, and we went in to wait for him. The opera was surprisingly good. Beautiful costumes and great singing. Of course Elli was amazing and looked lovely and even though the opera was in Italian, you knew exactly what was going on. It was a cultural experience for everyone that again took us a little out of our comfort zone, but again reminded me and of course taught my kids that you should try everything at least once. Don’t assume or jump to the conclusion that you will not like something until you have experienced it.

We also learned that when you try new things, you will actually enjoy them if you are with the right people. Going with positive people is a key to enjoying new adventures and frankly the key to a happy life. Some people look for the things that are negative or look for things to complain about. No one likes being around that, because it makes everyone feel bad. It takes practice and the right attitude to find the good things in life and enjoy life. To always find the good and positive things to say about anything and anyone. That is the attitude of my people—my parents and kids— and that is the attitude that makes new adventures fun! Practice positivity. It is never said better than in the old adage: if you cannot say anything nice don’t say anything at all. Surround yourself with positivity and you will be happy and you will be able to find something great and enjoyable in every new thing that you try.

Chicago Exploration

September 3, 2015September 2, 2015Leave a comment

As much as I love the great outdoors and our National Parks, it is also fun to explore our urban areas. My daughter Jenny had a great idea the summer before she started high school, that she and I should go to Chicago. She mainly wanted to visit the Chicago Institute of Art, but she also had a plan for us to try getting around on the “L,” and to sample the food and do a little shopping. She has always had an interest in art.

I had been to Chicago a number of times and enjoyed it for a few days here and there. I am glad I do not live there and have to deal with the traffic, noise and crowds on a daily basis, but the food and the fun things to see are worth the trip. I made reservations for us at a hotel just off of Michigan Ave (the main drag in downtown Chicago where all the action is) to help save a little money, and we went during the week, so it was not as crowded. We drove down and then parked our car at the hotel and either walked to our destinations or took the “L” train around the city. This is about a six hour drive and the drive is part of the fun. You can learn a lot about your kids in six hours. You have a lot of time to talk about just about everything. She was the copilot and had to have the money ready when we went through toll booths. She learned a lot about travel and getting around a big city on those trips.

Once we got to Chicago I had her help me watch the signs on where to turn and she was good at finding the hotel and our parking garage. That first time driving in downtown Chicago was a little nerve wracking, but we enjoyed Chicago so much that we went back almost every summer for a while and sometimes Sara, my oldest daughter, came along as well. We got to be very comfortable at getting around in Chicago after a few years.

We saw the Institute of Art. I had been there before, but it was even more fun seeing it through my daughter’s eyes. The beauty and talent is almost overwhelming. I always say I cannot stay more than a couple of hours at any one visit. My mind is so overwhelmed, that I no longer appreciate the uniqueness of each piece after a while and feel like I am just glossing over a particular piece of art. So we have gone a number of times and saw different collections on each visit. We essentially learned how to look at art and really appreciate it.

We also visited the outdoor art in Chicago including the Bean, and we rode the “L” to Chinatown. It was our goal to try something unique each time we were there. We had a lot of fun trying things at the restaurants in Chinatown, and always had good stories to tell after that. We shopped in Chinatown and went into the bakeries. Over the years it got to be one of our favorite places and we visited it each time we were in Chicago.

We did the other touristy stuff on Michigan Avenue like shopping and going to the top of the Sears tower, but we also loved trying new restaurants. The first year we had to have Chicago-style Pizza and even though it is still a favorite, we also tried new restaurants with Asian flavor infused lamb chops and delicious things where we did not even know what we were really ordering, but we were there to try new things and get out of our comfort zone and so we did.

We learned to read train schedules and get around on the “L,” we rode to Chinatown and we walked all over and we learned to be comfortable and confident, or at least look that way, even when we were sometimes a little unsure of ourselves. We visited the Chicago Museum of Natural History and one year we took an architectural boat tour on the Chicago River. We always had a plan for all of the things we wanted to see each year, but we also deviated from the plan to explore the city and see new things. We always had very full days to make the most of our visit and we always found a new restaurant for each evening, and to make it more special, we would dress up for the occasion.

We had so much fun together and we never ran into any trouble. Even though we were tired at the end of the trip, I was glad we did it. We were exploring together. We had to read train and road maps together and read the city street maps as we walked to find new restaurants or stores. Jenny was really good at that at a young age and saved us a few times from going the wrong direction. We were not so much mother and daughter on those trips, but more like travelers exploring together, making decisions on where to go and what to see. We had shared experiences of everything from, “that was great” to “remind me never to order the curry baby octopus again.” Yes, that is a true story. It was baby octopus and it was very yellow from the curry on it. It was also one of the worst things I have ever eaten and I have eaten squirrel and wood chuck and every organ from the cows and pigs on our farm, so I think I am a good one to judge.

When you are raising kids, it is easy to find very legitimate reasons not to do these extra adventures. It always costs money that you don’t always have to spare and you have to take time off from work, even when work is really busy, but in looking back I am glad I did not make the excuses, and even though it would have been easier to have the whole family go or have Joe drive us like he did on our family vacations, the dynamics would have been completely different. This way the focus was on just us and we had to fend for ourselves and we got to do what we wanted without any guys. It made us more confident and self sufficient and it brought us closer together. No one and no amount of time can take away our shared Chicago adventures. They are a part of us, our stories and our memories forever.

Puppies Everywhere

August 26, 2015August 26, 2015Leave a comment

I am a dog lover. Don’t get me wrong, I like cats too, especially the farm cats we grew up with, but I love dogs more and cannot imagine living without them. I have two rescue dogs right now. One is a Pug Shitzu who looks exactly like an Ewok from Star Wars if you would put a little leather helmet on him, and I have a Sheltie who was surrendered because he has a genetic defect in his front leg joint. We got him as a puppy and he is now ten years old. He limps sometimes, but does pretty well.

I grew up with dogs on the farm and we had mostly mutts, but at the height of gas and cattle stealing, we had a Doberman. He was a really nice dog for us, but if a stranger drove in the yard he looked like he was going to attack. It really cut down on the salesmen visits. We had one dog on the farm, Prince, who pulled a red wagon in a harness my grandpa and dad built. One of us sat in the wagon and the others rode bikes down the driveway, and that dog would run down that driveway giving us the ride of our lives. Prince was a nice dog.

When my kids were young they wanted a puppy, and so did I, and so started the parade of pets we had at our house over the years. We had fish, birds, a rabbit, a turtle and of course the dogs. We had our own dog, but we also did foster care for the Humane society. The kids always wanted puppies to play with, and so I thought our best option was to do foster care for puppies. It was perfect. They came for about two to three weeks to be well fed, to play and grow, and be socialized. Just long enough so that everyone was tired of cleaning up after them, when it was time for them to go back to the humane society to find their forever homes.

Our first assignment was to care for and socialize six black lab puppies that had lost their mom. They were as cute as could be. The puppies were high energy, exploring everything and crawling around on the kids. The kids were so gentle with them, but wow those puppies put out a lot of poop. We luckily had a large mud room with a linoleum floor that we fenced off and covered in plastic and than heavy red paper used in the construction industry and then layers of newspapers that could be changed frequently. We went through a lot of newspapers. The Humane Society gave us stacks of them and we could come and get more anytime we needed.

Luckily it was summer and the kids took the puppies outside a lot on the lawn to play. They liked being outdoors and the kids had a blast. A lot of their friends came to see the puppies and play with them. We had a deck in the backyard that was about a foot and a half above the ground. One of the puppies strayed under there and the kids did not want to crawl into that abyss of spider webs and darkness under the deck to retrieve the lost puppy. Guess who had spiders crawling in her hair after that rescue. Those kids owe me big-time.

We had a big loud family and our house was always full of commotion. Kids coming and going, and TV’s on, and loud music. I always said our house was the best to socialize puppies. They were not afraid of anything or anyone when they left us. They were used to loud noises and used to being held and handled. I had to get up early every morning to change their mat of newspapers covered in puppy poop and feed them mushy food and change their water. That was the largest group we ever had. I was very happy to see them go to find their real homes. I was tired after a few weeks and while the kids helped a little, it was still mostly me and it was the first thing I did in the morning and the last thing I did at night. After that, we only had one or two or three at a time. Never six. It was just too much. Live and learn.

We once had two husky lab mix puppies and they were my favorite. The kids always named the pups, and with the huskies we had one that was mostly white with a little black and had one blue eye and one brown eye. It was a beautiful dog. The kids named her Bobby. She was smart and kept escaping from her pen. I would be cooking and all of a sudden she would be walking around my feet. She stood on things jumped on things and could escape that pen no matter what we tried. After a while we gave up and let her roam, but we had to potty train her and that went as well as could be expected.

Once we got a call from the Humane Society that they had a pregnant dog that needed foster care. Her name was Penny and we were glad to take her. I had been a Labor and Delivery nurse, so having a dog that would have puppies was a fun prospect for me, and I was glad to have my kids experience that as well. We had a nice bed for her and we followed the directions we got from the Humane society to give her space and let her nest and rest. She was a small dog and cute as a bunny. Very gentle and well behaved. Not sure why someone gave her up. She was such a nice dog.

We kept watching for those puppies and one Saturday afternoon there was one squirming little puppy. So cute. Black tan and white just like Penny. She had another puppy to be born, but it just seemed to be taking too long. I called the humane VACBot012 Society, but they always said the same thing. Just let nature takes its course. Probably good advice. The kids and I watched and waited giving Penny her space, but keeping an eye out occasionally. Finally, the second pup was born, but it was not breathing. Penny tried her best to get it going by vigorously licking it, but to no avail. When she stopped, I took the puppy and tried
to give it gentle mouth to mouth and chest compressions. If I could have built a defibrillator with two forks and the toaster I would have. I felt so bad. I wanted to save that puppy, but despite my best efforts, I could not save the puppy.

The kids had watched me try and I finally gave the puppy back to Penny who had been standing by patiently waiting for me, as if knowing it was not meant to be. She nested with her lost puppy for a while, but after a few hours, pushed it out of the nest and focused on her live squirming bundle of joy. It was good for the kids to see real life and death and to know that despite our best efforts sometimes things were not meant to be.

The first puppy grew fast and was loved and held constantly by the kids. They would watch movies with Penny on the couch and the puppy would be crawling all over them. Most of the time it was no problem to separate from our foster puppies, but Penny and her puppy were special. They were a little harder to return to the Humane Society, but they let us be there when both were adopted and we were glad to see them go to good homes.

It is important to have our children see and experience sadness as well as joy, happiness, separation and letting go, as it is a part of life. We cannot have complete joy without having experienced sadness and we have to know how to deal with all of life’s ups and downs. On the farm it is easier to experience and understand that death is a part of life. That was a harder lesson to teach in the city. We started doing foster care to have puppies to play with. We did not appreciate that it would teach life lessons in such a personal way.

Liking Biking

August 20, 2015August 19, 2015Leave a comment

I have liked biking since the 1960’s when my parents brought home my first “big” bike. It was a Schwinn of course, blue and white. I rode it so much, I wore out the seat after a couple of years and we replaced it with a yellow sparkling banana seat, which were all the rage back then. I wish I still had that bike and that seat. They were cool. Our bikes were our independence before we could drive. We rode about a half mile into town to the little store to buy ice cream or we rode to get books at the book mobile. The book mobile was like a little traveling library that stopped in all of the small towns, to allow people to check out books in the summer. It was a great concept. It is still around; I saw one recently when driving up north of Duluth.

Since those early days on my Schwinn, I have never had a time where I did not have a bike. I have never had anything fancy, just trail or road bikes, and I have never worn Lycra to ride my bike. In college, I biked to and from work in the summers, and once we had our kids, they always had trikes and bigger bikes as they got older. I once rode 50 miles with my kids on the Paul Bunyan trail by Brainerd MN, while all of us were dressed like pirates. It was a fundraising event for the Bar Association. They had prizes for the fastest time, largest group, and one prize for the best costumes. I told my kids ahead of time that we will never be fastest because there are a lot of Attorneys who wear lycra while riding bikes that cost them $3000, but I said they should come up with costumes, because that is an area where we can excel. The kids came up with the pirate costume idea and we won the prize! I think we were the last team to come in.

Bike Pirates

My kids were complaining about their legs and their bikes as we passed the miles away. Some had those three quarter size bikes as they were still pretty young and I had a nice trail bike. So when they would whine about their legs hurting or being tired, I would trade bikes with them. I should get an award for driving most of those 50 miles on a three quarter size kid’s bikes with poor gearing. My paralegal, Carol, who I have worked with for over 25 years and who is a good sport for sure, came with us because Joe had to work. She also dressed like a pirate and we did have some fun!

We started biking the Minnesota and Wisconsin “rails to trails” (railroads turned into bike trails) when our kids were really young. My husband pulled a cart behind his bike and I had a carrier on mine. He sometimes pulled two kids and a small cooler in the cart at the same time and for a few of those years he had thighs like Thor. He also sometimes had to drive the trail with us and then drive the entire way back on the trail to go get the Yukon while we waited.

As the kids grew, we could do more miles and more trails. Those rails to trails were perfect for the kids, because they are all really flat. We could carry a small cooler with sandwiches and snacks on the cart and if the smallest kid got tired, we would duct tape their little bike to the cart and let them ride for a while. The kids would sometimes fall asleep in the cart and other times I could hear them singing to entertain themselves. They seemed to sing the Sponge Bob Square pants song a lot when biking. When our youngest Jenny was old enough to ride a tag-a-long behind Joe, we got rid of the cart and I had packs on my bike for the lunch or snacks. She and Joe could really move and make time when she was on that tag-a-long. They were always ahead of the rest of us and got to our destination the fastest.

We biked around Mackinaw Island with the two younger kids in the cart behind Joe, while Sara and I rode a bicycle built for two. She and I chatted the whole way around. It was so nice to spend the day together on a bike. She always enjoyed biking and was always upbeat and helpful as a little girl. That was a fun family vacation and we had perfect weather for it. Another year we rented bikes and drove around Yosemite National Park while on vacation in California. We did a lot of the trails in Minnesota and Wisconsin over the years. I always had a rule that they could not take me to a buffet on Mother’s day until I was eighty years old. They had to take me on an adventure, so they took me biking different interesting trails that we had never tried before.

Yosemite

We sometimes had to problem solve. We biked in one area of Western Minnesota and one of my daughters who shall remain nameless ( Sara) complained that her underwear was bothering her and riding up. I suggested she go “Cowboy” as we called it in our house, so on our next rest stop she went cowboy (no underwear) for the rest of the ride and I heard no more complaining. Problem solved. We once ran out of water and had to stop at a gas station and we had to sometimes use an outhouse on some trails. We had one outhouse in Southern Minnesota that had two holes side by side. Jenny asked why they would do that and so I said it was so two of us could go at the same time and chit chat while on the pot. She was quite young at the time and she wanted to try that so we did. Girl talk and chit chat while peeing. It was nice.

One of our favorite trails was the Lanesboro trail in Southeastern Minnesota. We still enjoy it. It is flat as can be and runs through some of the most picturesque landscapes in Minnesota. There is a little town every 6 or 7 miles to stop and look around or rest, and it winds along small rivers and past sandstone cliffs. There are a lot of fun places to stay in Lanesboro including an apartment above an art gallery on Main Street and an old mill made into a hotel, with themed rooms. There are a lot of cool options for dinner too, which is nice after a day of biking. It is a romantic town set in a valley and is good for couples as well as family friendly. It is fun anytime, but it is particularly beautiful in the fall. The cooler temps are also a plus when biking. Bike_Lanesboro03

We did the Lanesboro trail with my good friend from Law school and her family when our kids were all tweens. Her daughter Courtney was on a tag along behind her Mom and my Jenny was behind Joe on the tag along. The girls had Walkie Talkies (before cell phones for kids) and Courtney fell off the tag along trying to use the walkie talkie while driving. A first good lesson in driving and using phones, but luckily no damage was done, as we were just getting started and no one was driving very fast yet.

Another favorite was the Elroy-Sparta State trail in Wisconsin. It is 32 miles long and the best part of this trail is that it is an old railway bed (like the other rails to trails), but this one has three preserved train tunnels that you drive through with your bike. One is three quarter’s of a mile long and the other two are about a half mile long. As you drive along the trail through the woods, you can feel the air becoming cooler and damp as you get closer to the tunnels. You can also smell the tunnels as you approach. It is really more like a cave then a tunnel. There is water dripping inside and it is pitch dark; you can only see the small light at the end of the tunnel in the distance. The dark, cool, moist tunnels are a real treat when biking in the hot summer. It is like stepping into air conditioning. Most people walk their bikes through the tunnels holding flashlights. It would be difficult to make it through the tunnel without those flash lights. The first time through we actually taped flashlights to the kids’ bikes which they really liked. The dark tunnels added to the adventure and the uniqueness of this trail. Just writing about it again makes me want to go back and do it again. It will never be as exciting as that first time, when the kids were young and so in awe of the tunnels. It was exciting for us too.

One year, we did this same ride with my brother, and my parents drove what we referred to as our chase vehicle. They dropped us off at the beginning and then they met us in a predetermined town for lunch. The kids were all late tween ages or early teens. After lunch my mom looked up at the sky and said “you guys may want to load the bikes back up, because it looked like it may storm.” Well we were not about to have driven all the way to Wisconsin and not ride the entire trail. Besides, we thought the rain may never come. So off we went onto the trail. Within the hour, the clouds were opening up on us raining cats and dogs, but worst of all the thunder and lighting was spectacular. The thunder seemed louder than normal, as it bounced off the sandstone cliffs along the trail and it sounded like the lightening was right above our heads. We continued on as we had no choice. The chase vehicle could not get anywhere near us in the country side, so we continued and met up with them at the end, as planned. My mom had that, “I told you so” look on her face and a big smile for us as we looked like drowned rats. We were soaked and we had mud going up our backs, because this trail is not paved. It is called a crushed rock trail and normally on a dry day, it feels almost paved, because of the way it is made, but on this rainy day it blew up yellow mud onto all of our backs and we were almost too dirty to enter the vehicle.

I am always glad we did not quit just because the rain was coming. That would not have been memorable or a good story at all. Instead we raged against the rain to make sure we finished the entire trail. We have never laughed so hard and had a better experience. We were totally soaked and while on the trail, we must have repeated that line from the movie Cady Shack a hundred times—“I don’t think the heavy stuff will come down for a while.” The kids still talk about us getting rained on and our adventure on the Elroy trail, and I think that although we did not know it at the time, it was a good lesson for the kids in not quitting. It was also a lesson in raging against the rain and in finishing what you start. None of those things were said, but as they say, actions speak louder than words. There would be no story at all had we quit. We would have been back at the hotel sooner and sitting in the pool. Instead we came to the hotel laughing and having to clean up after an ordeal. A fun ordeal, but none the less an ordeal. We had finished all 32 miles despite the rain and the lightening and we were stronger for it.

We have been back on that trail with that same brother and his wife and we actually camped for the weekend at a campground on the trail called the Tunnel campground. Our rain and lightening story got told often that weekend and my kids still tell it.

Now that we are empty nesters we have gone biking around Itasca State park with friends and stayed at a local Bed and Breakfast during the peak of the fall colors. That is a gorgeous ride. I would load my bike carrier with sandwiches and frozen water bottles (to keep them cool) and I would throw in a beer or two for our rest stop. When we biked around the entire park we would stop at Douglas lodge for real ice cream malts made by hand. It was something to look forward to. We did that Itasca trail with the kids and the cart when they were young as well. That one was a thigh killer, as it is anything but flat.

Our kids still like biking and so do we. I just recently had a hitch installed on my daughter Jenny’s Jeep, so she can carry her bike. She had requested it because she and her friend love biking, but need a way to carry them to the trails. As she was talking about needing the hitch for the bike rack, I could not help but be brought back in time with her riding in that cart behind Joe’s bike, and then later behind him on the tag-a-long. Even though she is now 20 years old and almost finished with college, I can see it clear as day, as if it were yesterday. It has been said often, but those years with the kids fly by. Make memories and teach fun. You will never regret the adventures you did together.

Everyone Needs an Adventure Buddy

August 13, 2015August 8, 2015Leave a comment

My husband Joe and I just got back from our second trip to Voyageurs National Park by Lake Kabetogama on the Minnesota-Canadian border. We load our big Lund fishing boat, wear our adventure pants, head up north to a resort called Moosehorn, and rent a cabin for a week offishing Walleye. This is our second time to the resort because the owners, Christy and Jerry work really hard to make sure you catch fish and have a great time. We caught some really nice Walleyes, and more importantly, we were able to spend a really nice week together. I caught the biggest Walleye. More on that later.

You can do these types of things whenever you want when you are empty nesters. Joe and I have been on some very fun adventures together since our nest became empty. You can read more about by browsing the Practice Fun Living and Empty Nest Shenanigans pages on this site. We loved raising our kids, but the reality is that those years are about them, as it should be. We spent a lot of time in those years, through all of the different phases from diapers and then school, and all of the activities such as soccer, hockey, dance, plays, band and our wonderful family vacations. It was a hectic time, and with all of the kid activities, we sometimes had to work really hard to stay connected as a couple. We did stay connected; we now have been married for almost 30 years, and we can once again appreciate each other’s company as we are back to having things more about us and what we want to do.

I look back on those family years and even though some of them are a blur, one thing is for sure. I married a really nice guy who took care of us all and would do anything for his family. We recently sold our family home in Blaine, and I was talking to a friend and I told her that none of the light bulbs in that house had ever burned out in 25 years. At first she looked confused and then it dawned on her that of course they had burned out, I just did not have to change them because Joe quietly always replaced them. I don’t even ever remember having to ask him to replace any. He just took care of them. I also had my last car for ten years and during that time it never once ran out of washer fluid. Another thing that he just made sure was always done.

Over the years he has had to do a lot of things for his family. I have come to the conclusion that it is not big spectacular things, but the small things that make a good dad and husband. He has not had to defend his family against an intruder or wrestle a bear or cougar in a National Park so the kids and I would not be mauled, although that would be a good story, but over the years he has had to take care of all of their gadgets that break, whether phones or cars, and schedule and keep track of oil changes on sometimes as many as five different vehicles. He has paid a few parking tickets for our college students—luckily no one has ever done anything serious, and when they were in High School he had to help them with their math and calculus, since he has a PhD and actually easily understood that complicated homework.

Over the years Joe fixed many a broken door, screen, window, dresser drawers and toys. He was there for them when they needed him and he has always been a low maintenance guy. Joe loves watching his Twins baseball and he is so easy going that he seldom complains. As our kids say, he can live off of a handful of peanuts and is happy with that. He mows the lawn, pays the bills, and would drive his family thousands of miles on family vacations. He had to put up with all of the pets our kids wanted over the years and had a real tolerance for all of the noise in our house when the kids were teens and had their friends over for movies, music and games. Those teens ate everything in the house like locusts, and were so loud you needed ear plugs sometimes, but it had to get really bad before he complained.

We did a lot of fun things with those kids over the years, and we had a lot of fun together. The guy has skills other than mowing lawns and fixing broken stuff in the house. When we took a driving vacation around Europe for our 25^th anniversary he bossed it up on the roads, including keeping up with the Germans on the Autobahn, and he caught on quickly to driving without obeying the traffic signs and weaving around the hundreds of motorcycles on the streets of Rome. I had my hands over my eyes more than once. Yes, we got a couple of tickets in Europe for driving down the wrong way in Amsterdam and in Italy, but that was my fault as the navigator and it was well worth it, for the great sites that we saw on that vacation. There was not a scratch on the car and after being in Europe for about two weeks. I knew he had this driving thing down like a local when we went to a German restaurant for pork hock night and he parked our car with two wheels onto the sidewalk, just like the locals.

It is good to have an adventure buddy with balls who is not afraid to try something new, and a guy with some skills who knows how to do everything from fix the computer to catch fish. We have zip lined, snorkeled, and we have sat our butts in the Natural hot springs of the blue lagoon in Iceland. We have visited the cliffs on the Mediterranean at the Cinque Terre in Italy, stayed on a farm in the Alps by Innsbruck Austria, and a castle on the Mosel River in Germany. We have hiked and fished in Hawaii, Alaska and Costa Rica and we hope to have many adventures ahead.

It is good to have the right adventure buddy. We encourage and reassure each other and more importantly we have fun together. If you cannot have fun together, a marriage will not last for 30 years. I have found that you have to find common interests, and the key is that you enjoy being with the other person.

We enjoy many things and we can still have fun at things we have been doing for years. We work together on the planning and preparations for our adventures and we have a list of future adventures that we already know we want to try. Last week at Kabetogama, as usual with our fishing adventures, there is a lot of trash talking about who will catch the biggest fish and the first fish. I make him take pictures of every fish I catch, no matter how embarrassingly small it is. I did catch the biggest fish this year and have been rubbing it in since we are back, but he reminds me that he caught the first fish. Most importantly, we enjoy our time together. We go with the flow; we enjoy not only the adventure, but the planning, preparations and getting there and back, and talking about it afterward even when it is trash talking about who caught the biggest fish.

Picking the right adventure buddy for both your vacation adventures as well as your own life adventure is crucial to enjoying your time on this earth. Who would have thought, looking from afar that the quiet guy who gets little recognition when he changes the washer fluid on the cars and changes light bulbs in the house, the guy who is mowing the lawn and paying the bills, going unappreciated and almost unnoticed most of the time, would be the best husband and dad a family could ask for. The kids and I have appreciated the things Joe has done for us, even though we have not expressed it as often as we should.

Appreciate your adventure buddy, your quiet guy who has done his duty for his kids and wife; the guy who asks for little in return, but shows up for everything from changing dirty diapers to hauling the kids stuff to college. It has been a fun ride and we have many more adventures ahead. Life can be fun with the right Adventure Buddy!

Running with the Girls

August 6, 2015August 6, 2015Leave a comment

IMG00519-20120715-1055 A number of years ago, I decided it would be fun to participate in some of the 5K runs that were becoming so popular. Many were being used as a way to raise funds for charitable organizations and some to get more people active and into running. It seems like the more fun they could add to the experience, the more likely they were to get a lot of runners.

Making the 5K run’s fun worked. It attracted a lot of us and they still do. I have done a number of Color runs, where you show up for the 5K in all white and by the end you look like a rainbow. The course has IMG00514-20120715-1011 various color stations that you run through. As you run through the color station, a powdery shower of yellow, purple, green or blue is sprayed at you by the volunteers, creating a multitude of colors on your clothes and also covering your hair by the end. The colors are safe or so they say. Good thing too because you feel like you are breathing them during the run through the color stations, and after the color run you are sneezing colors and wiping colors out of every part of your body—yes every part, even those parts.

These runs were a good way to connect to other women including family. My daughter Sara got me involved in the Color runs, and she invited her friend Megan and my sister Kathy and I, to a run at night, called the Glow run. The Glow run was really fun because it was at night and we had to make matching shirts with glow in the dark paint, and we wore glow in the dark jewelry and glasses. Getting ready for this run was half the fun.

It was held at Valley Fair, so the amusement park atmosphere fit the glow run craziness. During the run we had to be extra careful not to step in a hole or trip in the dark, which added to the fun, but also made it the slowest run ever. We got through the run without any injuries and had a great time. There were hundreds of runners and they had all kinds of colorful moving lights throughout the trail that added to the nighttime mystique.

I also invited my sister Kathy, and Sara and Megan to a charity run called Women Run the Cities. It was sponsored by a great organization I belong to called MNCREW, and the beneficiary of Women Run the cities was a charity for at risk young girls. The charity was started by Ann Bancroft, the Arctic and Antarctic explorer and author. Ann has been one of those amazing women that has succeeded in her own quests to explore and educate, and has worked so hard to make opportunities for other women and girls. We did this run many times and we did get to meet her and it was not disappointing. She was as gracious, energetic and down to earth as she seemed when we had seen her speak on prior occasions and on TV.

My daughter Sara, Megan and I signed up for one of the most fun runs in all the Twin Cities called the Anoka Halloween fun run. This is a 5K that you run in a Halloween costume. We learned quickly to pick your costume carefully. Anoka is known as the Halloween Capital of the world, and those Anoka residents take their Halloween very seriously. The costumes people were running in were amazing. One group of people were actually pushing a large, fifteen foot homemade Paul Bunyan and Babe the blue Ox. It took a group of eight people in lumberjack shirts to pull that off and rightly so, they won the costume contest. Sara and I dressed like luffas and Megan dressed like the Hamburgler, which were all fairly easy to run in.

Luckily no one takes their running times very seriously at these runs. Serious runners and competitive people probably do not spend a lot of time on these fun runs. Many of us are talking the whole time, laughing and tripping over our own feet. What I have discovered is that these runs are more than a good time with the girls, my friends, daughter and sister. It is a bonding experience that starts with the calls and texts to each other, convincing each other to join the run and getting the group together. The next bonding experience is getting ready for the run, whether that is the fun of shopping to find a costume to be able to run in or all white clothes or glow in the dark items to wear at night. The texts and calls fly back and forth and the bonding continues. My daughter Sara has been a real instigator in finding some of these fun experiences, and my sister, who is normally a competitive runner and one with impressive times for her normal 5K’s, has been such a good sport in joining us for these fun runs, even though she has to drive from the South Dakota border to get here.

The runs provide some exercise, but they 140220 732 are so much more. They provide a fun, noncompetitive activity that is not the cliché shopping. Running with the girls helps us appreciate the fun things in life, helps drop away our little worries of the day, puts the stress of work or home on hold and provides a connection with some of the best women in our lives. A run that is really no run at all, but provides an outlet to share a laugh and a hug and a little sweat, and rub off some love and sometimes color on each other. Run with your girls and appreciate the sometimes very simple pleasures in life. Housework, homework and work obligations can wait. Run with the girls!