Be Happy In All That You Have

November 26, 2015November 25, 2015Leave a comment

Thanksgiving has been a large family get together with grandparents and relatives for as long as I can remember. We ate real pumpkin pie, homemade dressing that melted in your mouth, and the turkeys that were roasted barely fit in the oven. When I was young we gathered at my grandparent’s farm, and eventually my parent’s farm, and eventually, as we grew into family life ourselves, my brothers and sisters and I took turns having the Thanksgiving dinners at our house.

I have memories of the Macy’s day parade on the TV in the background, and the adults having cocktails and wine hanging around the kitchen. We kids were playing games or with toys, and many times we played together outside. As we had our own kids the dynamics changed from us playing with cousins, to my siblings and I doing the cooking and drinking wine before we sat down to eat. Not everyone could make it every year, as there were sometimes obligations with in-laws, but we celebrated with whoever was available. The food was always amazing, and catching up with everyone and being together was really nice. It got everyone in the holiday mood and started the holiday fun.

Christmas is different. It has the religious aspects, and the Santa and gift giving fun, but Thanksgiving is special. There is no need to shop for presents and the holiday stress. It is a simple dinner with relatives and friends, but more importantly a day set aside to count our blessings and be thankful for what we have. It is not a time to think about our future, our goals or especially to worry about what we don’t have. We just need to take stock of what we do have and be thankful for all of those things. Remember those who face fierce battles with cancer, the loss of loved ones, loneliness and poverty. Help where you can.

To just celebrate Thanksgiving and have the dinner and the wine without the reflection is to short change yourself. I don’t mean everyone needs to be that family that has to go around the table and share out loud what they are thankful for. That is fine, but I suspect everyone feels so put on the spot or awkward that it is a meaningless exercise anyway. Many others look more on Thanksgiving to count their blessings in a more religious way. I believe that it does not matter if you are religious or not, or whether you like the historical aspect of Thanksgiving or look at Thanksgiving as a harvest celebration, that it would be a real missed opportunity not to take advantage of the meaning of this holiday and take stock in all you have.

I am a list maker and I am always setting goals and I have plans for the year, and a five year and ten year plan. All of those things are a little embarrassing to put in writing, but I have found that if I want to accomplish something I have to have a plan. But as we focus on plans, we are always looking forward. That is a good thing, but it should be balanced with reflecting on what we have and being thankful and happy in all that we have. I start by being Thankful for the best kids a mom could ask for. They are all fun, happy and hard working. They have goals and I have to say that the three of them are the most fun crowd to be with on any holiday. I am Thankful for another fun year (due to good planning) and the ability to travel and the good jobs we have and have retained. We have a nice house on a lake and Joe and I have a lot of fun together. It does not matter if we are traveling together or taking wallpaper off or doing home projects; we have a good time together and that is important after almost thirty years of marriage.

I have learned after 57 years of life that no matter what you have, there are people who will always have more than you and there are many more who have less than you. Comparing yourself to others is a waste of time and steals your own happiness. There is always a negative or a positive way to look at everything, whether it is your past, your present or your future. If you choose to look at the negative, you rob yourself of your happiness.

On Thanksgiving take time to focus and reflect on the positive and to take note of all of the things you are or should be Thankful for. It does not matter how old you are or what you have, you have enough and you are enough. Love your family, love yourself, love your life and be positive in all that you do. Thanksgiving is a time to reflect. Take the opportunity and bask in the glow of all that you do have!! Happy Thanksgiving!

Saturday Mornings, Coffee, and Kids Sports

November 19, 2015Leave a comment

Coffee never tastes as good as on an early, crisp fall Saturday morning when taking the kids to a soccer or hockey practice. When our three kids were young we wanted to give them as many opportunities as possible to try different sports and activities. The kids got fresh air, exercise and learned to play as a team, follow directions and get along with others. They seemed to really enjoy it, trying everything from t-ball, football, hockey, lacrosse and everyone played soccer from the time they were about three years old.

I remember the crisp fall mornings the best. For my husband and I it was a juggling act to decide who would take who where. Most often games and practices did not overlap, but occasionally we had to go in different directions. I was always looking at the schedule, and Joe and I would decide who was doing what.

If Joe would take them to soccer, which was many times, I would stay home and clean house, or cook, or catch up from the busy week, so if it was my turn to take the kids to soccer on that early Saturday morning, I relished the thought of a nice hot cup of coffee and sitting on the sidelines and relaxing in my folding sports chair (owned by every parent with kids in soccer). I would sit, relax and sip while the kids ran drills with the coaches. It was an opportunity to do nothing, just sit and not feel guilty about not doing dishes or grocery shopping or cleaning toilets. Those moments were so rare back then as we had three kids and a big house and we, like many others, were both working. It was an incredibly busy time, but we were young and energetic and we did have a lot of fun. In our house, the kids came first and as a family we tried to give them every opportunity for fun, education and sports.

The kids did not only play sports, everyone also tried band and Sara seemed to enjoy it the most, joining a multi-school band and actually traveling to play in parades all over Minnesota and even to Washington DC and Colorado. There were also years of dance and plays and swimming. They liked competitive sports and we liked watching them.

I never saw our going to practices and games as a burden, it was truly fun. We got to know a lot of the parents of our kid’s friends and we got to know all of the families from the neighborhood. The games and practices became a social event for the parents. Like in every crowd there were the over serious mom’s and the mom’s who thought their kids were bound to be professional athletes and the valedictorian of the class, and those moms who were nice enough to take the lead role in fundraising, so every kid would get a jersey with their name on the back and the moms and dads got jerseys with their kids name on it. There were those moms who yelled the loudest and were the most fun at the games, to the point where it crossed your mind of whether there was only “coffee” in their insulated cup. The games were a lot of fun and brought everybody closer in the shared cheering for the teams.

The practices were sometimes more than a social event, where we, as the moms, could chit-chat about everything from our struggles to keep the house clean, to pet issues, and how to make sure the kids get their homework done, to the fun events coming up at school or in the community. Sometimes we just exchanged funny stories about family life and we laughed as we kept filling our coffees from our metal thermos. For some of us it was an hour or so of no responsibilities and a time to commiserate with other moms, for others it was a time to seek advice from other mothers and be encouraged that raising kids is sometimes an art and not a science and that despite all of our concerns and worries everything would be fine. That love and a hug are good every day and not to sweat the small stuff as perfection is not only impossible, but would be detrimental to the sheer enjoyment of life’s surprises.

We thought enrolling our kids in sports was all about them and it was great for them over the years, but we did not realize the side benefits for ourselves as parents and especially moms. We learned from one another and we became closer as a community as we would see the same families over and over from sport to sport and from band concert to school play. Raising kids is being

part of a school and a community and should not be done in isolation. We can gain strength, encouragement and joy from one another in the shared experience. The old saying that it takes a village to raise a child shows a lot of wisdom, and is not only an expression of what is good for the child, but shows real wisdom on the support and encouragement that we all need as parents. Support, love and encourage one another as we navigate together through the beauty that is family life.

The Joy of Seizing Rare Opportunities

November 12, 2015November 10, 2015Leave a comment

I have found that opportunities sometimes present themselves in the blink of an eye, and we are either smart enough to accept them or we let them go and they are gone forever. I had such an event this past summer. My son is a senior in college studying Geology at Winona. I was quite busy at work, but he called and said he wanted to go to the Duluth area and see some rock formations and he would be doing some hiking on the Superior hiking trail.

Now my son probably would have loved his time alone or would have liked to bring a friend, but he knows how much I love the Superior hiking trail and the Duluth area, so he was kind enough to think of me and offer to take me along. He also knows that if possible, I never turn down an opportunity for an adventure or a road trip. That is way more fun than working. I have never studied geology, but it is one of those fun subjects everyone likes to hear about and who has not collected rocks at one time or another. I have always loved rocks and now as the mother of a geologist, I have rocks everywhere at our house and in the garage and in the gardens. I love them and so jumped at a chance to go along.

We have a lot of history with Duluth. It is one of our family’s favorite places. We took the kids there every year when they were young. I have a Minnesota bar convention in Duluth every second year and the kids would get to go along, and in the other years we made sure we at least went for a long weekend. The Bar conventions had a multitude of family fun planned, while we were busy at the convention meetings. One year the kids rode a Pizza train from Duluth to Two Harbors that had music and magic acts and activities for the kids during the ride. This kept them busy with Dad while the Bar convention had a cocktail party for the members. The kids still remember it and I actually think one of them still has the conductor hat she got on that train ride over ten years ago.

I went to college in Duluth too and so it has strong memories for me, but more importantly it is one of the most beautiful areas of Minnesota. It has hiking, biking, good restaurants, beautiful waterfalls and scenery, and nice hotels right on the Lake in Canal Park. I had worked my way
through college cooking at Grandma’s Saloon and Deli in Canal Park and I was actually fortunate enough to live on Park Point across the lift bridge from Grandma’s in Duluth, when I was a Junior and Senior in college. Three of us girls working at Grandma’s rented the house on the lake side from the Manager of Grandma’s. It was a beautiful place. I fell asleep to the sounds of Lake Superior waves hitting the shores and the sound of the bridge and the large loaded ore boats communicating by sound as they went through the lift bridge on their trek across Lake Superior.

When Ben was nice enough to call to see if I could go along to Duluth, I could have easily said I just could not make it. Making changes in my schedule and rearranging my calendar is not impossible, but it takes some work on my part. Thank goodness I seized the moment. Without hesitation I said yes and asked and firmed up the days we were going. I made the changes to my schedule and I made us reservations at the Inn on Lake Superior, my favorite hotel. It has nice rooms and pools, but they are also right on the Lake and have beautiful views. You can walk right out the back door of the hotel onto their back patio and you are on the walking trail on the shore of Lake Superior. At night they have a fire pit going and they bring large trays of the makings for smores. You can walk in the dark along the lake and actually walk out onto the pier to the lighthouse and look back at the Duluth lights glimmering against the dark backdrop of hills. It is beautiful!

We had three days and a packed schedule for our adventure, starting the first afternoon with a hike to the end of Park Point. We had beautiful weather and hiked the entire way until we could see Wisconsin. It is a lovely trail that starts at the airport at the end of the road on the Point and goes through old growth pine forests and along the beach. We of course had dinner at Grandma’s and Ben had to again hear my stories of days gone by, when I worked there and the fun we had. We went to Ely and went down into the old mine and the entire way there and back Ben stopped and pointed out interesting rock formations and areas he needed to see, or ones he had seen on past field studies and wanted to show me. It is amazing to think that I have driven that North Shore so many times over the years and he could stop and point out rock formations and even an old fault line that I had never noticed before. It is so interesting when your kids take up such a fun area of study and you as a parent learn something new.

The Soudan mine, now a State Park open to tours, was particularly interesting. We had been there when our kids were very young, but Ben was so young he could barely remember it. When we first got our hardhats to go into the small, loud elevator to descend over a mile into the earth, a light went off for him. He said he did remember the hard hats and the elevator ride. He was fascinated with the mine tour now that he has so much knowledge about the geology of it all. We both had a wonderful time and I learned a lot.

On our last day we hiked a small portion of the Superior hiking trail. This is a gem of our state. It winds through heavy forests, up and down rocky ledges and along waterfalls and streams. It has beautiful bridges and is well maintained, safe and well mapped. We ran into other hikers occasionally, but we felt completely immersed in nature. Being experienced in such things, we had plenty of water and some Gatorade and snacks along. We took our time and we took a few rest stops. It was just he and I, and we had a nice chance to talk about everything from the family, our past adventures, plans for future adventures to some of his plans for after college. It was so great to hear the birds and the water flowing and feel the moist, cool air of the thick forest, and to just spend time together. It was warm on the trail and after more than 4 hours of hiking, we were really sweaty and hot. We stopped at the next State Park rest area and completely changed clothes before finding another good local restaurant for a meal together.

Once those kids leave for college they need to forge their own life and they are busy with that, and that is a good thing, but it is so nice when we can take an opportunity like this between their busy life and ours, to be together even if just a few days. Even though I was tired after our trek in the woods, I felt refreshed and more alive than I had in weeks. Nature does that to a person, but more importantly sharing time in nature with those we love is life renewing.

Had I not taken that spur of the moment opportunity to go with Ben when he called and not juggled my calendar around to spend time with him on the North Shore, I would have lost the opportunity for a great hike and education in the geology of Northern Minnesota, but more importantly I would have forever lost that moment of time with him. There is sheer joy in seizing those rare opportunities. They present themselves in a moment and if we do not seize the moment, the moment is gone forever. Fun living is the seizing of those rare opportunities that present themselves.

Capturing Our Life Through Art

October 29, 2015October 29, 2015Leave a comment

Once the weather starts turning cooler in the fall, I have an overwhelming need to dig in closets and drawers and try to start nesting for the winter. As much as I love summer and the water, and outdoor activities, I enjoy fall for the colors and the crisp cool air and I enjoy the quiet peacefulness and coziness of a weekend in a warm house in the winter.

My need to dig through closets and spend time cleaning house and getting rid of stuff that I do not need probably starts because the hustle and bustle of summer leaves this wake of stuff laying around that we didn’t take the time to put away, rushing from one activity to another before summer passes us by. We fit a lot into one season. It is probably good we do not live in California with the fine weather all year round. We would never have a winter to recover. Don’t get me wrong, we do plenty in winter, but it is no comparison to the summer and the back-to-back fun-ness in which we engage. When the weather starts turning, I clean coolers and put them away, hang the lifejackets and the bikes, and put away the adventure pants. I dig in my drawers and closets and donate all things taking up space that are no longer used. The cleaning and organizing process is easier now that we are empty nesters. It is just less space and people to pick up after.

In cleaning drawers this week I ran across a large box and folder with black and white photos of my family. When the kids were younger and we lived in the woods of Blaine, we had a really nice 35mm camera. I decide to try black and white photography. I love the look of old black and white photos and this was before everybody carried a phone with a camera that has black and white options. It does not seem that long ago that I decided to get artsy and try black and white photography, but the pictures are telling of how long ago it was. My kids are all now in their twenties, so looking at the photos was really fun and brought back a lot of good memories. My kids were really good sports about it. I brought out the costume box and they were willing to participate with multiple costume changes and my direction for an attempt to capture different settings and emotions through my new found artsy photography interest.

Our costume box was amazing. We had every kind of costume you could imagine, from beautiful dresses and dance costumes, to Harry Potter, goulash masks and pretend bloody hands for zombie costumes and of course the gorilla and banana. We had boxes of hats and we had wings, and we had props like fake crows and swords and a staff. Even neighbors borrowed costumes from us when they had an occasion for such things. I loved our costume box and the kids and their friends had a lot of fun with them, even when it was not Halloween. We were known in the neighborhood for our selection of costumes. I think part of the fun for the kids with the “photo” sessions was that they did get to pretend and wear a lot of different costumes. I had to always wait for a sunny day to have the right lighting, but I used our woods as a backdrop and took most photos outside.

I had a lot of fun doing that with the kids and after a weekend of shooting photos, I would take my film to Wal-Mart, who by the way did a great job developing black and whites and actually used real black and white paper for the processing. I could not wait to get the final product back
and the kids and I had a lot of fun looking through them afterwards. Some seemed great by accident and others were definitely not keepers. The fun part in looking through them this fall is that I had kept them all, good and bad. Surprisingly, some of the ones I would not have considered keepers turned out to be some of the best ones with hindsight.
I had a perfect picture of the kids in black and white that I had considered so good that I used it as our Christmas card that year, but the photos leading up to that photo were some of 3some2 the best ones that captured their sense of humor and their sheer joy of goofing off together. I can ask my kids to smile on a picture and they did well, but when I accidentally captured them laughing with each other in between pictures or them trying, unsuccessfully to put on a serious face, for a more dramatic picture, I actually captured them in their most honest and true sense. It is unrehearsed and pure. I see their personalities when I look back at those pictures and I see a family of kids that will always be friends. I see sheer joy in the moment and a camaraderie that they will always share.

As different as they are in many ways, they are close siblings with many fun and loving memories together. My stint of trying my hand at the art of black and white photography actually captured our family in a moment of time when we all lived together and enjoyed every aspect of life, including those slow Sundays in costume together, trying to capture art and emotion, in the
woods of our backyard. I thought I was being artsy, and by accident I created a box of memories that may have faded with time. I look at the photos and I am there in time enjoying the moment.

3some3 Time passes so quickly and even though it seems like yesterday to me, these kids are now gone and forging their lives and making new memories. We still have a lot of great times together, but they will never again be those giggly, young kids who were willing to go along with Mom’s idea to try something new and play dress up, while she tried to get just the right shot. I actually entered a couple of the photos into an art contest in Blaine and even though I did not win, they were displayed in the City Hall for a few months. I felt proud that they had been accepted into the contest and I felt accomplished that I had tried something new and actually enjoyed it more than I thought. We went as a family to look at all of the art and it was special that they could see themselves in an art display.

I did not know it at the time, but I had actually captured our life through art in a moment of time that we will never have again. Make your memories each day, because in the blink of an eye, today is gone and tomorrow is a memory. Days turn into weeks and weeks into years. Don’t let those days fly by without taking time to enjoy each moment and to create beautiful memories for those around you.

Sun, Surf, Salsa & Dolphins

October 15, 2015October 14, 2015Leave a comment

We have taken a lot of great vacations with our kids over the years, but our trips to Mexico to escape the Minnesota winters rate very high on our favorite’s list. On prior vacations we had been out of the country, but only to Canada. Mexico was our first big trip flying out of the country and it required that everyone in the family have a passport. The kids were young at the time as our first visit was in 2004. We were all very excited about it. Joe booked an all inclusive resort in Playa Del Carmen just south of Cancun. All inclusive resorts are the best deal when you are traveling with kids. The food, drinks and fun are included, so as parents you do not have to keep pulling out your wallet every time the kids need a soda or a meal. The food was amazing. Endless buffets of fresh fruits, veggies, fish, meats and always lots of fresh salsa and chips.

Our resort had informal buffets by the pools, all day long, in case you did not want to miss any of the ocean and pool fun. The pools all had a view of the ocean and the resort staff stood ready at the ocean to lend you fins and snorkels or give you lessons on the sailboats for use by the guests. There was an endless amount of activities to participate in and when you all had too much sun, you could go shopping in the villages or on tours.

There were more formal buffets in two different dining rooms in the main lodge, for evenings,
and vendors sold jewelry under the night sky, perfect to look at while strolling with a glass of wine. Family friendly movies played on the beach at night, and other nights they had magic shows and dancers of all kinds to entertain the guests. We always said it was like being on a cruise, but without the boat. These were fun times with the kids. I had to bring along a lot of sunscreen and big T-shirts so that the hot Mexican sun did not burn their white, winter Minnesota skin. Everyone got too much sun anyway, but we did our best.

On our first trip to Mexico, with our new fresh passports in hand, we decided to go through customs in an order where Joe went through first, and then the kids between us, and me last. So we were book ending our kids to make sure everyone stayed together. After we landed, we gave each of the kids their passports to hold under our watchful eye, and Joe proceeded forward as planned. His passport got a quick stamp and so did Sara and Ben as they went through. When it came to Jenny, just in front of me, the agent looked at her and her passport and looked at me. He looked at a fellow agent beside him and conversed in Spanish, a language I had not mastered enough to follow other than to clumsily order food or a drink, or exchange simple greetings. He was not stamping her passport and continued to discuss something with his coworker and even pointed at her passport. I exchanged a glance with Joe, as he stood just beyond the red ropes after passing through customs and he kind of shrugged. The Mexican customs agent stopped talking and looked at her passport again. I mustered up my best lawyer, authoritative, but respectful, no nonsense voice and said “Is there a problem?” He looked at me and said “no” and stamped her passport and mine and we were through. After we were out of earshot I expressed my concern to Joe and his response was “they were probably just talking about what they wanted for lunch.” That was a good laugh and ended our concern.

We moved on to our awaiting resort van with our tour guides dressed in matching flowery shirts, and we were off for fun and sun! We went sailing and snorkeled with every kind of fish possible. One day we decided to go to a natural water park of sorts called Xcarat. It was a short bus ride away and offered a full day of family fun. It had manatees and birds of every kind. It had bell helmet diving for the entire family. We tried everything. Jenny was the youngest and so on these adventures she had to in some ways be the bravest. She was so small but she put on her heavy bell helmet and she snorkeled with us and she never complained. I sometimes think it is why she is so adventurous now in her twenties because she was required to participate in a lot of things at a very young age.

Xcarat also had snorkeling on a river through caves and it offered swimming with the dolphins. Even though this was a little pricy, I viewed it as a once in a lifetime opportunity to enjoy the dolphins when the kids were most excited about the allure and beauty of dolphins and the ocean. They had seen movies about dolphins and read about dolphins, but to touch a Mex04b nd swim with them was magical. The looks on their faces was worth the price. It was the highlight of the trip and something they still talk about as adults.

The kids loved the people in Mexico and interacted with them with ease. The young adults working at the resort worked on teaching the kids Spanish. When they came to get towels at the pool they used the Spanish word they had learned to ask for them and said please and thank you in Spanish. Sara studied a little Spanish in school and actually helped us out when we were a little lost at the Xcarat resort. We had gotten into an area that was more remote in the park while looking for the Mex04d restaurant. The workers at the resort in that particular area were working on a construction project and not the workers trained to work with guests. They spoke no English so Sara stepped in and tried her best to use her Spanish to find our way to the area for lunch. She was successful and they understood enough of what she was saying to direct us to where we needed to be. The kids even learned enough Spanish on our vacations to negotiate purchases at the little stores and to order at restaurants.

We also went to Mexico and an all inclusive in 2007 when the kids were a little older, and that time we went to the island of Cozumel. That was an entirely different experience because they were older and we did different things. The girls went parasailing and Ben and I went scuba diving. That Ben has always been a lot better than me at diving. He is a natural. Calm and cool on the dive and he was the best dive buddy ever. He watched after me and we saw sharks and barracuda together. It was a mother and son bonding event.

One day on Cozumel we rented a van and a local driver to take us slowly around the entire island. We stopped at beaches and the Mayan ruins and the shops and local restaurants. We saw sights and tried to enjoy the local food, culture and the people, in the warm Mexican sunshine. We had good times together and filled each day with activities, and then at the end of each busy day, when we were all tired from too much sun and fun, we had great food together while listening to the live music and shows provided by the resort.

I am so thankful we took the time to do these adventures together. We will always have those memories. Once the kids started college and worked on creating their own lives, making those family memories was a lot harder. We took the time away from our jobs and the kid’s busy sports, band and school schedules to make family time that they will remember forever. We notr only had a great time, but the kids learned to interact with and respect people from other countries and cultures, and they learned to be brave in the big blue ocean and in trying new and exciting and sometimes scary things, like snorkeling in caves. They learned how to go through customs and navigate through airports together. They ate unfamiliar food and learned to love it. They swam with dolphins and they laughed and played together in the warm sunshine. There is nothing more important than family and family adventures. In hindsight, we had a really good time together as a family, but our kids also learned life lessons and now have fond memories of our time together. It made us all closer and stronger. Time is irreplaceable. Use it well.

Sister Love

October 8, 20151 Comment

I come from a family of five children raised in the 1960’s and 70’s. I am in the exact middle of
the five, with an older sister and brother and two younger brothers. My
only sister, Kathy is the oldest in the family and we are three years apart. We are alike in as many ways as we are different, but we are sisters and that means something, including that we were each other’s first girlfriends and we learned about life, fashion, relationships, boys, and dreams from each other and we always had a closeness that only sisters would understand.

We were each other’s first sleep over buddies as we shared a room while growing up, and we shared clothes and learned how to get along and how to treat others. We played Barbies, house, dress up and we did each other’s hair. We almost always got along, other than one fight that involved kicking each others bikes and some hair pulling. We learned very early from each other, that we did not like fighting and of course we were given a penalty by our mother of picking all of the strawberries in the strawberry patch for our misbehavior, which was a hateful job. My mother was very clever, because having to do the hateful job together for hours, brought us closer together. By the end, we were laughing and throwing strawberries at each other, all in good fun and so we would have less to clean.

As we got into high school and college, we shared clothes and I visited her on campus, and we even went on a double date. We confided in one another and we sought advice on everything from our college plans, to guys and dating. She would come home on weekends from her college and we knew some of the local guys. Don’t tell our mother, but a common activity was parking in the gravel pits. I went with a date one time when Kathy was home. We had been at the bars, her with her friends and me with mine and we each knew the other was out. It was common after the bars closed to continue the party at the gravel pits. It was more of a party place than a place to be alone with a date. When we would get to the gravel pits there were other cars and it became a social event talking with others. My date pulled up to another car to talk to his buddy before we joined the bonfire going on at the pits. I leaned over to see who his buddy was with and it was Kathy. We both laughed and did not say a word, of course until we got home and then we had a good laugh. True story, so don’t deny it Kathy!!

Kathy married a really nice guy and moved to Ortonville, and I moved to the cities after college.
Even though it was hard and even though sometimes we went weeks without contact, we managed even when we were busy raising kids and building our careers to stay close. We called each other when we needed to, but even when we did not have contact for periods of time, we knew the other was there for us anytime we needed a confidant or just someone to listen. We still relied upon each other for that sisterly advice and to gain support or an honest opinion.

After being a nurse for a few years, I decided to take the LSAT and go to law school, and Kathy was the first person in my family that I told. I told her first to have a respected opinion before I told my parents. I think I needed reassurance that I was not crazy to pursue this career especially since I was entering law school, having never even met an attorney. It was a way to test to see if she thought the idea was crazy. She did not know it at the time, but my career and future may have depended in part on her reaction. I respected her opinion and wanted some input from someone who knew me the best of anyone in the world. 140220 859 Had she said anything to make me think I was out of my mind to think I wanted to go to law
school, I may have rethought the idea. In true sister fashion, she was one hundred percent supportive. She started with “If that is what you want, you go for it.” And she was supportive in telling me she believed in my ability to handle the challenge. She always knew what to say and she knew how to be supportive.

As we have aged, we have grown even closer. We have called each other with worries about our kids or now with our parents, and we provide each other that listening ear and advice. We are now both empty nesters, and Kathy has an early retirement as a teacher. This gives her more time to come visit and plan for our sister fun. In the last few years we have become concert buddies, going to Billy Joel, the Eagles, Madonna and Fleetwood Mac. She usually buys the tickets online, as she is good at watching and buying at just the right time to get the good seats, and then comes to my house to stay and we get dressed up and make an event of it. It is so much fun, we take selfies and post on Facebook, and we dance and clap to music that was popular when we were in college. We reminisce about our college days and we catch up on our lives and our kid’s lives.

We have also gotten together at the lake house for a little sister bonding time. We went paddle boarding, kayaking and biking. It is so nice having a sister who enjoys the same things I enjoy, and it is different being with a sister than a friend. Friends are great, but a sister is special. A sister will support and encourage you even if your dreams may be far fetched, but a sister will also be brutally honest if that dress makes you look like a grandma, in a bad way.

Kathy has worked really hard to be in top physical shape. She is an inspiration with her competitive running and daily bike rides. I need to emulate that more, as I sit behind a desk too much of the time. I had a great bike ride with her a few weeks ago. I had always poked fun at bike riders who wear lycra. I do trail rides and while I can ride easily for 25 miles and have done 50 miles many times, I had taken pride in the fact that I do not wear lycra.

On this particular ride with Kathy, she broke out the riding shorts with the gel padded seat and put them on for our anticipated 25 mile ride. I laughed, because that is what sisters do and she told me in that big sister voice that she brought a pair for me to try. I said I was not wearing those, because they make my butt look big. She said, in a very matter of fact way, “What do you care, you’re not for sale anyway.” (Referring to the fact that I am married and have been for almost 30 years). A good point and one I had not really thought about. “Besides…” she said, “who sees you on the bike trail anyway?” Another very good point. She was always the smarter of the two of us. She was so right, but I have to say I was hesitant at the utility of the shorts in relationship to the butt magnitude. Well it only took a few miles to appreciate what I have been missing for years. The bike shorts were awesome and it not only made the ride better and smoother, but I could go a lot more miles without discomfort. I admitted to her that she was once again right, and then in true sisterly fashion, she had not only convinced me that the shorts were awesome, she took that extra step to buy me some on her way back home through St. Cloud and mail them to me. That is a sister!!

I have always been close to my family. I have wonderful brothers and have great parents. I am lucky to have close friends and to have stayed close to many of my cousins and extended family, but a bond with your sister is like no other. I have only one sister and maybe that affects my perspective, but a sister is unique. The bond between sisters is not like any other. We do not need to talk to each other every day or even every week, but we know the other is always there and would drop everything we are doing if the other needed help. We share experiences together and enjoy each other’s company. We confide in each other and look to the other for advice, comfort and sometimes just to listen. I have been lucky to have a sister in my life and to share the sister love!

Crazy Fun Cousins

September 24, 2015Leave a comment

I grew up in Buckman, Minnesota in the sixties and seventies, surrounded by great grandparents, grandparents, uncles, aunts and all kinds of cousins. The Buckman/Pierz area was settled by German Catholic farmers. It was a great place to grow up. Our farm was just outside of Buckman. My dad had grown up in Buckman and my mom in Pierz. My dad’s parents lived about a mile away across the fields, and my mother’s family lived a few miles away just south and east of Pierz.

My great grandparents settled in the area when they came from Austria and Germany with their families in the late 1800’s. It was, and still is, a tight knit community where everyone knows everyone else and they socialize mainly through church activities and hunting, fishing and farming interests. We were always surrounded by extended family. If anyone got married or died everyone attended. We went to every church Bazaar and our family social life was mainly visiting and hanging out with relatives.

My dad had only one brother, who was a priest, but he had a cousin, Ray in the area who was like a brother and his kids were close in age and we played with them a lot over the years. My mom was the oldest of a family of six and her dad was from a family of six, and her mom was from a family of ten, so there were a lot of cousins and second cousins and great aunts and uncles and so on. Family reunions were a blast!

My mom had two sisters who were close to her age. In her family they had three girls and then three boys. One of her sister’s, Marilyn, settled in Buckman about two miles away from our farm and the other, Corrine, settled just east of Pierz. Marilyn had seven children, Corrine had five and we had five. The kids spanned in age over about a 15 year or more period, but we usually all played together. We were very good at being inclusive rather than exclusive. As one of the older ones, I remember having big family get togethers and I would almost always be carrying a baby or watching after a younger child. I usually had a little one on my lap and it usually was not my younger brother, but a young cousin.

Everyone got along really well or at least after all of these years, I don’t remember any real conflict. I do remember that we stuck together on our outdoor adventures and we watched out for each other and the little ones. Back then our parents did not hover. We were left to run around the farm and play without any supervision. The parents played cards or visited and they expected us to get along, play nice, and not do anything dangerous. We knew the expectations and most often followed the rules.

We sometimes went to parks together and sometimes just got together at each other’s farm or Grandma’s farm. We played ball in the summer and had just enough kids to make it work for fielding. The pitcher and everyone moved in when a little kid went to bat and pitched it slow and we older kids pretended not to catch the ball, so they could run some bases. We went ice skating and built snow forts in the winter, and we sometimes stayed in and played board games like Clue, Operation, Monopoly and Life. We
played in the hay barns and the corn fields and we climbed trees and we rode bikes. We were outdoor kids.

When we got thirsty and hungry we sometimes snuck into the house and one kid took potatoes chips and another took a bottle or two of pop and we went out to the barn and shared our loot. Sometimes we also took the Ketchup from the refrigerator and used it as dip. Once in a while we took a package of Jell-O and shared the powder out of the box. It was exactly like the old time candy called Pixie sticks. I think that may still be around. Had we asked for the treats, I am sure our parents would have given them to us and I am sure they knew we were taking them, but sneaking in to take them was a lot more fun and adventurous.

My aunt Marilyn lived closest to us. She originally had an old farm house that was two stories and we loved playing there. When we were young I remember we had Pop It bead fights. Pop it beads were plastic, hand-size beads that connected together to make things. It was really a baby toy but we used them as grenades for Pop It bead fights. If you grew up in the fifties and sixties you have seen them. I am not so sure they still make those, but I still have some that I found for my kids and I kept them because of my fond memories of sitting behind furniture in teams and having a pile of Pop It beads next to us, and throwing them at each other in a Pop It bead war of sorts. This sounds strange, but I have vivid memories of playing that in my aunt’s farm house. I also remember doing Light Bright with my cousins, and then turning off the lights to admire our creation. They also had one of the coolest doll houses. It was made of metal and had rugs and wall paper painted onto the metal. We had doll furniture and dolls to arrange in the dollhouse, and surprisingly that kept us busy for hours in the upstairs play area. Marilyn had the seven children and she had a really fun and loud house. We liked going there.

My aunt Corrine also lived in a two story farm house, but outside of Pierz, so it was a little 84a farther away. They had a horse before any of us, so that was our first opportunity to become comfortable around horses. She had a fun farm with rolling hills and dairy cows. I distinctly remember being upstairs at Corrine’s house playing with multiple cousins and playing on the bed, which of course got carried away into jumping on the bed and one of us jumped too high and hit the light fixture and broke it and the light bulb. It made a crash to be
sure and we all became very silent waiting for the yell from the parents who were playing cards on the main level. It took no time at all for one of the parents to be yelling what was going on up there and of course we gave the standard answer of, “Nothing, the light just broke on its own.”

The parents had their standard laugh and exchanges of those statements of those darn kids and then the standard reply was to tell us to settle down and behave. We played a lot in their hay barn and in the outbuildings which were full of cool old farm stuff. Corrine had an apple tree and was an excellent cook and baker. She was the best! We looked forward to her dinners and her apple pie.

We played and got together at our farm too. We had endless fields and beef cows and lots of outbuildings including a storage shed we referred to as the shendy. We played a game over the top of the shendy called Annie Annie Over where you had teams on each side and the ball was thrown over the top of the shendy. If the team on the other side caught it, they all came running over to the other side to tag out the other team. If we got tired of games we thought of other shenanigans. We climbed in the barns and the silo. Once at our farm we convinced my cousin Karen to climb a knotted tree of ours that was not very high and then to jump down into a large blanket being held around the sides like we had seen firefighters do on TV. There were about ten kids holding around the edge of the blanket, but that blanket never even slowed her down. She hit the ground with a thud. Luckily she had jumped feet first and only had a sprained ankle. Sometimes we tried things we should not have. We played a lot of Kick the Can at our farm and hid in the corn fields around the house. We swung in the barns and we made hay forts. It was a nice place to grow up.

We played at Ray’s farm too. Our cousins there were also close in age and his farm was the most fun. He had chickens of all colors, geese, and turkeys wandering lose in the yard. You could hunt for eggs and play in the corn cribs. Ray’s farmyard was, and still is, full of beautiful flowers. 24e

Some of our cousins were almost as close as siblings and even though some of us have left the Buckman/ Pierz area, and are scattered around Minnesota, we remain close. Some of us still go camping together and get together for dinners, parties and family events. We still see each other at funerals and weddings. We make time for family, because family is important.

Our parents and aunts and uncles taught us to be good people and to value family. They taught us to let everybody play, to be fair and to be nice to the younger, weaker kids. Nothing else would have been tolerated. They taught us to be gracious winners and good losers. They taught us to be polite, respectful and helpful. They taught us that it is OK to explore, but they also taught us to watch out for each other. These were all great life lessons that are just as important today in our workplaces, in our homes, schools and in our neighborhoods as well as just the right way to live our lives. The world would be a beautiful place if everyone lived by the rules we learned with our cousins. We may not be able to change the entire world, but we can do our best to live by these rules in our daily lives and hopefully set an example for others. Living by these simple rules not only is the right thing to do, but it makes our little part of the world a better place for all.

Try Anything Once

September 10, 2015September 9, 2015Leave a comment

Anyone who follows my writing and knows me well knows that I am more of an outdoor girl than an indoor girl, and I have never been known for my sophistication. I like to keep it real and simple, and I have no problem embracing and loving my farming roots. Even though I would rather be at an Eagles or Fleetwood Mac concert, I actually like a lot of different kinds of music.

When I was in college in Duluth at St. Scholastica, in the late 1970’s, we were required to take a class or community education item that had nothing to do with our major. It had to be approved, but the number and variety of choices were very great. The school really pushed us to have a well rounded education. It was a really good school. In my very first year of college, I selected season tickets to the Duluth Symphony Orchestra of all things. As I say, you need to try everything at least once and even at that age I knew it was more fun to get out of my comfort zone and try new things than to embrace the same old things.

I was in the nursing program and loved my science classes including the anatomy and physiology courses that came with the mandatory cadaver lab. I actually liked cadaver lab. I grew up on a farm, so life and death were a part of our existence, and being from a small Catholic community, everyone attended every wake and funeral that occurred. The wakes always involved open caskets with viewing of the body and the kids came along to the wakes from an early age. I was not bothered by a dead human and found the study of human anatomy fascinating.

So when it came time to pick a class unrelated to my major out in the community, I chose the symphony, something that had nothing to do with science or memorizing the parts of the body, and something we did not listen to on the farm. It was not expensive thanks to a relationship between the symphony and the college. Two other friends signed up with me and surprisingly we enjoyed it a lot more than we expected. We had talked beforehand and decided it may be quite boring, and as tired as we were from studying anatomy until all hours of the night, we would probably fall asleep. However, that was not a problem at all. We never fell asleep. We actually really looked forward to it after a while.
There was a monthly concert and I was excited for it. We dressed up and went to dinner before hand and it got to be a real event. It was so different than what I had done in the past. We were listening to Aerosmith and Bob Seger and we went to rock concerts. The symphony music was so much better than I thought it would be. I was really surprised how emotional the music felt. It could make you move in your chair or it could make you feel nervous or excited or be completely relaxed where your mind could wonder. It was surprising. I am glad the school required us to expand our education and interests; otherwise I never would have bought tickets to the Duluth Symphony on my own. I would have gotten too busy with the tasks for my classes and what must be accomplished; unless forced to do this required education I would not have had that wonderful experience.

It was more than 30 years ago, but the educational affects of trying new things still lingered. A couple of years ago I heard one of my law partners talking about his daughter who is an opera singer. She had the lead in the Romeo and Juliette opera at the Ordway in St. Paul. I was really excited about that. I had never been to the opera and my first reaction was that I don’t like opera. But I caught myself. How could I dismiss it so easily as something I don’t like, if I have never been to one, and this would be extra special because we kind of knew someone in it or at least we knew her mother and father, and we knew they were really nice people. We had heard about their daughter Elli, and how she lived in New York and she was a sought after opera star in Europe and the U.S. We had also seen pictures and she was a beautiful girl. I was definitely in.

I knew I could count on Joe because he is always a good sport about trying new things, but I wanted to make it a real event and why not pass on that Scholastica philosophy of trying new things? I asked my kids if they would go and I explained who Elli was and that we would have to dress up. They were all in. They had never been before, but they always took the opportunity to do something new as well.

I invited my parents too. I knew they would be up for something new, exciting and different. They were farmers from Buckman, but they were well traveled having been to Australia and all over Asia, and of course all over the U.S. This made it even more special because now there were three generations of us all dressed up and going to the opera, all of us for the first time. It was interesting because we had all been camping, traveling, boating and fishing together for years, but never the opera. Not all three generations. I was so proud of all of them, kids and parents alike, for being so adventurous and willing to try something new and so upbeat. I love this crowd. They are never a bunch of complainers or whiners, and they try to always be positive. My parents and my kids are all a lot alike. They are fun to be around, because they are all adventurous, fun and positive people.

We dressed up at my house so even the getting ready was an event. We went to dinner first and then the opera. Joe dropped us off at the door like dignitaries, and we went in to wait for him. The opera was surprisingly good. Beautiful costumes and great singing. Of course Elli was amazing and looked lovely and even though the opera was in Italian, you knew exactly what was going on. It was a cultural experience for everyone that again took us a little out of our comfort zone, but again reminded me and of course taught my kids that you should try everything at least once. Don’t assume or jump to the conclusion that you will not like something until you have experienced it.

We also learned that when you try new things, you will actually enjoy them if you are with the right people. Going with positive people is a key to enjoying new adventures and frankly the key to a happy life. Some people look for the things that are negative or look for things to complain about. No one likes being around that, because it makes everyone feel bad. It takes practice and the right attitude to find the good things in life and enjoy life. To always find the good and positive things to say about anything and anyone. That is the attitude of my people—my parents and kids— and that is the attitude that makes new adventures fun! Practice positivity. It is never said better than in the old adage: if you cannot say anything nice don’t say anything at all. Surround yourself with positivity and you will be happy and you will be able to find something great and enjoyable in every new thing that you try.

Chicago Exploration

September 3, 2015September 2, 2015Leave a comment

As much as I love the great outdoors and our National Parks, it is also fun to explore our urban areas. My daughter Jenny had a great idea the summer before she started high school, that she and I should go to Chicago. She mainly wanted to visit the Chicago Institute of Art, but she also had a plan for us to try getting around on the “L,” and to sample the food and do a little shopping. She has always had an interest in art.

I had been to Chicago a number of times and enjoyed it for a few days here and there. I am glad I do not live there and have to deal with the traffic, noise and crowds on a daily basis, but the food and the fun things to see are worth the trip. I made reservations for us at a hotel just off of Michigan Ave (the main drag in downtown Chicago where all the action is) to help save a little money, and we went during the week, so it was not as crowded. We drove down and then parked our car at the hotel and either walked to our destinations or took the “L” train around the city. This is about a six hour drive and the drive is part of the fun. You can learn a lot about your kids in six hours. You have a lot of time to talk about just about everything. She was the copilot and had to have the money ready when we went through toll booths. She learned a lot about travel and getting around a big city on those trips.

Once we got to Chicago I had her help me watch the signs on where to turn and she was good at finding the hotel and our parking garage. That first time driving in downtown Chicago was a little nerve wracking, but we enjoyed Chicago so much that we went back almost every summer for a while and sometimes Sara, my oldest daughter, came along as well. We got to be very comfortable at getting around in Chicago after a few years.

We saw the Institute of Art. I had been there before, but it was even more fun seeing it through my daughter’s eyes. The beauty and talent is almost overwhelming. I always say I cannot stay more than a couple of hours at any one visit. My mind is so overwhelmed, that I no longer appreciate the uniqueness of each piece after a while and feel like I am just glossing over a particular piece of art. So we have gone a number of times and saw different collections on each visit. We essentially learned how to look at art and really appreciate it.

We also visited the outdoor art in Chicago including the Bean, and we rode the “L” to Chinatown. It was our goal to try something unique each time we were there. We had a lot of fun trying things at the restaurants in Chinatown, and always had good stories to tell after that. We shopped in Chinatown and went into the bakeries. Over the years it got to be one of our favorite places and we visited it each time we were in Chicago.

We did the other touristy stuff on Michigan Avenue like shopping and going to the top of the Sears tower, but we also loved trying new restaurants. The first year we had to have Chicago-style Pizza and even though it is still a favorite, we also tried new restaurants with Asian flavor infused lamb chops and delicious things where we did not even know what we were really ordering, but we were there to try new things and get out of our comfort zone and so we did.

We learned to read train schedules and get around on the “L,” we rode to Chinatown and we walked all over and we learned to be comfortable and confident, or at least look that way, even when we were sometimes a little unsure of ourselves. We visited the Chicago Museum of Natural History and one year we took an architectural boat tour on the Chicago River. We always had a plan for all of the things we wanted to see each year, but we also deviated from the plan to explore the city and see new things. We always had very full days to make the most of our visit and we always found a new restaurant for each evening, and to make it more special, we would dress up for the occasion.

We had so much fun together and we never ran into any trouble. Even though we were tired at the end of the trip, I was glad we did it. We were exploring together. We had to read train and road maps together and read the city street maps as we walked to find new restaurants or stores. Jenny was really good at that at a young age and saved us a few times from going the wrong direction. We were not so much mother and daughter on those trips, but more like travelers exploring together, making decisions on where to go and what to see. We had shared experiences of everything from, “that was great” to “remind me never to order the curry baby octopus again.” Yes, that is a true story. It was baby octopus and it was very yellow from the curry on it. It was also one of the worst things I have ever eaten and I have eaten squirrel and wood chuck and every organ from the cows and pigs on our farm, so I think I am a good one to judge.

When you are raising kids, it is easy to find very legitimate reasons not to do these extra adventures. It always costs money that you don’t always have to spare and you have to take time off from work, even when work is really busy, but in looking back I am glad I did not make the excuses, and even though it would have been easier to have the whole family go or have Joe drive us like he did on our family vacations, the dynamics would have been completely different. This way the focus was on just us and we had to fend for ourselves and we got to do what we wanted without any guys. It made us more confident and self sufficient and it brought us closer together. No one and no amount of time can take away our shared Chicago adventures. They are a part of us, our stories and our memories forever.

Liking Biking

August 20, 2015August 19, 2015Leave a comment

I have liked biking since the 1960’s when my parents brought home my first “big” bike. It was a Schwinn of course, blue and white. I rode it so much, I wore out the seat after a couple of years and we replaced it with a yellow sparkling banana seat, which were all the rage back then. I wish I still had that bike and that seat. They were cool. Our bikes were our independence before we could drive. We rode about a half mile into town to the little store to buy ice cream or we rode to get books at the book mobile. The book mobile was like a little traveling library that stopped in all of the small towns, to allow people to check out books in the summer. It was a great concept. It is still around; I saw one recently when driving up north of Duluth.

Since those early days on my Schwinn, I have never had a time where I did not have a bike. I have never had anything fancy, just trail or road bikes, and I have never worn Lycra to ride my bike. In college, I biked to and from work in the summers, and once we had our kids, they always had trikes and bigger bikes as they got older. I once rode 50 miles with my kids on the Paul Bunyan trail by Brainerd MN, while all of us were dressed like pirates. It was a fundraising event for the Bar Association. They had prizes for the fastest time, largest group, and one prize for the best costumes. I told my kids ahead of time that we will never be fastest because there are a lot of Attorneys who wear lycra while riding bikes that cost them $3000, but I said they should come up with costumes, because that is an area where we can excel. The kids came up with the pirate costume idea and we won the prize! I think we were the last team to come in.

Bike Pirates

My kids were complaining about their legs and their bikes as we passed the miles away. Some had those three quarter size bikes as they were still pretty young and I had a nice trail bike. So when they would whine about their legs hurting or being tired, I would trade bikes with them. I should get an award for driving most of those 50 miles on a three quarter size kid’s bikes with poor gearing. My paralegal, Carol, who I have worked with for over 25 years and who is a good sport for sure, came with us because Joe had to work. She also dressed like a pirate and we did have some fun!

We started biking the Minnesota and Wisconsin “rails to trails” (railroads turned into bike trails) when our kids were really young. My husband pulled a cart behind his bike and I had a carrier on mine. He sometimes pulled two kids and a small cooler in the cart at the same time and for a few of those years he had thighs like Thor. He also sometimes had to drive the trail with us and then drive the entire way back on the trail to go get the Yukon while we waited.

As the kids grew, we could do more miles and more trails. Those rails to trails were perfect for the kids, because they are all really flat. We could carry a small cooler with sandwiches and snacks on the cart and if the smallest kid got tired, we would duct tape their little bike to the cart and let them ride for a while. The kids would sometimes fall asleep in the cart and other times I could hear them singing to entertain themselves. They seemed to sing the Sponge Bob Square pants song a lot when biking. When our youngest Jenny was old enough to ride a tag-a-long behind Joe, we got rid of the cart and I had packs on my bike for the lunch or snacks. She and Joe could really move and make time when she was on that tag-a-long. They were always ahead of the rest of us and got to our destination the fastest.

We biked around Mackinaw Island with the two younger kids in the cart behind Joe, while Sara and I rode a bicycle built for two. She and I chatted the whole way around. It was so nice to spend the day together on a bike. She always enjoyed biking and was always upbeat and helpful as a little girl. That was a fun family vacation and we had perfect weather for it. Another year we rented bikes and drove around Yosemite National Park while on vacation in California. We did a lot of the trails in Minnesota and Wisconsin over the years. I always had a rule that they could not take me to a buffet on Mother’s day until I was eighty years old. They had to take me on an adventure, so they took me biking different interesting trails that we had never tried before.

Yosemite

We sometimes had to problem solve. We biked in one area of Western Minnesota and one of my daughters who shall remain nameless ( Sara) complained that her underwear was bothering her and riding up. I suggested she go “Cowboy” as we called it in our house, so on our next rest stop she went cowboy (no underwear) for the rest of the ride and I heard no more complaining. Problem solved. We once ran out of water and had to stop at a gas station and we had to sometimes use an outhouse on some trails. We had one outhouse in Southern Minnesota that had two holes side by side. Jenny asked why they would do that and so I said it was so two of us could go at the same time and chit chat while on the pot. She was quite young at the time and she wanted to try that so we did. Girl talk and chit chat while peeing. It was nice.

One of our favorite trails was the Lanesboro trail in Southeastern Minnesota. We still enjoy it. It is flat as can be and runs through some of the most picturesque landscapes in Minnesota. There is a little town every 6 or 7 miles to stop and look around or rest, and it winds along small rivers and past sandstone cliffs. There are a lot of fun places to stay in Lanesboro including an apartment above an art gallery on Main Street and an old mill made into a hotel, with themed rooms. There are a lot of cool options for dinner too, which is nice after a day of biking. It is a romantic town set in a valley and is good for couples as well as family friendly. It is fun anytime, but it is particularly beautiful in the fall. The cooler temps are also a plus when biking. Bike_Lanesboro03

We did the Lanesboro trail with my good friend from Law school and her family when our kids were all tweens. Her daughter Courtney was on a tag along behind her Mom and my Jenny was behind Joe on the tag along. The girls had Walkie Talkies (before cell phones for kids) and Courtney fell off the tag along trying to use the walkie talkie while driving. A first good lesson in driving and using phones, but luckily no damage was done, as we were just getting started and no one was driving very fast yet.

Another favorite was the Elroy-Sparta State trail in Wisconsin. It is 32 miles long and the best part of this trail is that it is an old railway bed (like the other rails to trails), but this one has three preserved train tunnels that you drive through with your bike. One is three quarter’s of a mile long and the other two are about a half mile long. As you drive along the trail through the woods, you can feel the air becoming cooler and damp as you get closer to the tunnels. You can also smell the tunnels as you approach. It is really more like a cave then a tunnel. There is water dripping inside and it is pitch dark; you can only see the small light at the end of the tunnel in the distance. The dark, cool, moist tunnels are a real treat when biking in the hot summer. It is like stepping into air conditioning. Most people walk their bikes through the tunnels holding flashlights. It would be difficult to make it through the tunnel without those flash lights. The first time through we actually taped flashlights to the kids’ bikes which they really liked. The dark tunnels added to the adventure and the uniqueness of this trail. Just writing about it again makes me want to go back and do it again. It will never be as exciting as that first time, when the kids were young and so in awe of the tunnels. It was exciting for us too.

One year, we did this same ride with my brother, and my parents drove what we referred to as our chase vehicle. They dropped us off at the beginning and then they met us in a predetermined town for lunch. The kids were all late tween ages or early teens. After lunch my mom looked up at the sky and said “you guys may want to load the bikes back up, because it looked like it may storm.” Well we were not about to have driven all the way to Wisconsin and not ride the entire trail. Besides, we thought the rain may never come. So off we went onto the trail. Within the hour, the clouds were opening up on us raining cats and dogs, but worst of all the thunder and lighting was spectacular. The thunder seemed louder than normal, as it bounced off the sandstone cliffs along the trail and it sounded like the lightening was right above our heads. We continued on as we had no choice. The chase vehicle could not get anywhere near us in the country side, so we continued and met up with them at the end, as planned. My mom had that, “I told you so” look on her face and a big smile for us as we looked like drowned rats. We were soaked and we had mud going up our backs, because this trail is not paved. It is called a crushed rock trail and normally on a dry day, it feels almost paved, because of the way it is made, but on this rainy day it blew up yellow mud onto all of our backs and we were almost too dirty to enter the vehicle.

I am always glad we did not quit just because the rain was coming. That would not have been memorable or a good story at all. Instead we raged against the rain to make sure we finished the entire trail. We have never laughed so hard and had a better experience. We were totally soaked and while on the trail, we must have repeated that line from the movie Cady Shack a hundred times—“I don’t think the heavy stuff will come down for a while.” The kids still talk about us getting rained on and our adventure on the Elroy trail, and I think that although we did not know it at the time, it was a good lesson for the kids in not quitting. It was also a lesson in raging against the rain and in finishing what you start. None of those things were said, but as they say, actions speak louder than words. There would be no story at all had we quit. We would have been back at the hotel sooner and sitting in the pool. Instead we came to the hotel laughing and having to clean up after an ordeal. A fun ordeal, but none the less an ordeal. We had finished all 32 miles despite the rain and the lightening and we were stronger for it.

We have been back on that trail with that same brother and his wife and we actually camped for the weekend at a campground on the trail called the Tunnel campground. Our rain and lightening story got told often that weekend and my kids still tell it.

Now that we are empty nesters we have gone biking around Itasca State park with friends and stayed at a local Bed and Breakfast during the peak of the fall colors. That is a gorgeous ride. I would load my bike carrier with sandwiches and frozen water bottles (to keep them cool) and I would throw in a beer or two for our rest stop. When we biked around the entire park we would stop at Douglas lodge for real ice cream malts made by hand. It was something to look forward to. We did that Itasca trail with the kids and the cart when they were young as well. That one was a thigh killer, as it is anything but flat.

Our kids still like biking and so do we. I just recently had a hitch installed on my daughter Jenny’s Jeep, so she can carry her bike. She had requested it because she and her friend love biking, but need a way to carry them to the trails. As she was talking about needing the hitch for the bike rack, I could not help but be brought back in time with her riding in that cart behind Joe’s bike, and then later behind him on the tag-a-long. Even though she is now 20 years old and almost finished with college, I can see it clear as day, as if it were yesterday. It has been said often, but those years with the kids fly by. Make memories and teach fun. You will never regret the adventures you did together.

Fun Living

Stories by Joan Quade

Category: Family Time